During the month of Elul, we’re taught the fundamental idea that “the king is in the field”. As I have grown older, I’ve begun to wonder about the significance of this. How do you arrive at Rosh Hashanah having repented completely for what you have done, and why do you deserve Hashem’s forgiveness after having strayed so far from Him during the year?
Every year, the pattern is the same. During Elul, we work hard to repent and be forgiven by Hashem, but in the next two months, we go straight back to our old, unhealthy habits. Why is it that on Rosh Hashanah, we genuinely want to change our lifestyle, but in the days following it we don’t seem to care about our resolutions?
The reason is that as a generation, we’re not honest enough with ourselves. By the time we begin making these resolutions, the way to wiggle out of them is in the back of our minds. This is usually due to fear of change. No-one wants change, even when not changing is detrimental to their life. Then comes guilt, and then the cycle begins again.
The simple solution to this not-so simple problem is being able to look deep, and observe the real things you want to change in yourself, be able to be vulnerable, and really think about what you want to achieve. When you do that, the thought of change becomes less unbearable as it’s more like changing a screw rather than the whole machine.
Once you break out of your comfort zone and are honest with yourself, you’ll hold your values and achievements close to your heart, and live a deeper and more meaningful life.
Meira Feinblum, Grade 10, Torah Academy
