Pandemic’s emotional damage ‘bigger than disease itself’
COVID-19 has taken a major toll on the emotional well-being of our community. While some have developed a number of coping mechanisms, many continue to battle with depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts brought on by the uncertainty it has brought to our lives.
“The emotional fallout caused by the pandemic is going to be bigger than the disease itself,” Robyn Salkow told the SA Jewish Report recently. “Based on what we’re seeing, people are going to be suffering emotionally from this for some time yet.”
Salkow is operations manager of the ChaiFM Helpline, a support and intervention line launched in August last year. Although the line has typically assisted people with a variety of issues, the pandemic caused a swell in calls from people across the country whose lives have been turned upside down.
“People who had anxiety or depression before COVID-19 have gone into more severe categories like paranoia,” Salkow says. “They are being diagnosed with the condition after becoming unbearably anxious about getting infected, touching things others may have touched, and going out of their homes.
“Whereas before someone may have said they were occasionally depressed, it has worsened to the point where they are asking how they can end it all because life isn’t worth living.”
According to Salkow, there has been a significant increase in calls to the helpline in terms of both volume and severity. The number of calls rose from 164 in April to 180 in June, with 192 in July. In August, there was a major leap to 244 calls. As for their severity, calls deemed severe or potentially life-threatening jumped from three in April to 55 in August.
“We were quite flabbergasted by the increase,” Salkow says. “The conditions we’re seeing are mainly depression and anxiety, but some cases are far more severe.”
LifeLine counselling services manager, Reabetsoe Noge, has had a similar experience.
“We’ve had 186 counselling calls and 350 requests for counselling sessions in the past month,” she says. “Our counsellors are booking shifts on a daily basis to meet the expectations of clients who are feeling distressed.”
Says Noge, “People have had the time to introspect under COVID-19, and have discovered the gaps in their lives. This prompts them to become depressed or even suicidal and, hopefully, to reach out to us. Underlying issues are being brought to the fore, triggering all sorts of serious emotional responses.”
LifeLine has been operating on the phone and over WhatsApp, fielding requests for help daily. It’s a similar situation at the ChaiFM Helpline, where 27 volunteers spend 18 hours a day taking calls and following up on previous callers who fall into the severe or moderately severe category.
Salkow says that follow-ups are made regularly where circumstances demand, including subsequent hospital admission or family intervention if needed. The line ensures that callers get the help they need, be it securing a bed at a medical institution, a referral, or simply a supportive conversation.
“Under the circumstances, it’s crucial that we do whatever we can to bring about a positive result to the best of our ability,” says Salkow. “We can’t just leave someone because they’re not getting out of bed in the morning. If they need help, something has to be done.”
Emergency medical-response service Hatzolah has also initiated a crisis response line to help people through the emotional upheaval of the pandemic.
“The crisis line is available to assist people with all the difficulties that COVID-19 has presented,” says social worker Sheri Hanson, who works in Hatzolah’s Crisis Response Unit. “The unit is there to help people air difficult feelings, and reduce the enormous sense of loss and isolation.”
Hanson says the crisis line is reflective of what has been happening globally on an emotional level.
“At first, people were feeling anxious about contracting COVID-19 and concerned about transmitting it to others, particularly if they had family members with high-risk comorbidities. In addition to the psychological stressors related to COVID-19, people have been feeling the financial stress that has arisen due to loss of jobs, lockdown, and businesses closing.
“As time has passed, this has become a real concern for those whose earnings have been negatively affected by the restrictions of COVID-19, which in turn has had an adverse effect on their mental health.”
Hanson says being confined to a home in difficult circumstances and with no relief from this reality has been challenging for many.
“For those in the community who have kept themselves away from others for fear of contracting COVID-19, the social isolation has been brutal and often a debilitating depression has set in,” she says. “COVID-19 has brought with it an enormous sense of uncertainty.
“This has increased already high levels of anxiety, as people have been unable to put a timeline to this new normal of masks, sanitisers, isolation, and economic stress.”
Salkow says that, contrary to initial expectations, the demographic of those who are typically using helplines has gone beyond the elderly and the immunocompromised.
“We accepted that the greatest demand would be from older people,” she says. “However, we’re seeing a demographic from as young as age six calling for support. Teens and varsity students have also been in a very bad way, with their academic careers and lives being disrupted.
“The younger generation is scared of what the future will hold and what sort of world they will be growing up in.”
Moving forward, Noge believes that people are developing coping mechanisms or becoming more willing to reach out for help.
“People took a knock emotionally, but I think that they are finding their feet,” she says. “The calls we get show us that people are feeling distressed, but that they are also more open to calling now. It seems some people are becoming more resilient.”
Nonetheless, Salkow maintains that until certainty is restored, the calls for help will remain constant.
“I don’t like to make predications, but I believe we will see intense pressure on mental health for the next four years at least,” she says. “The lack of certainty will cause emotional upheaval, but I’m hopeful that we can help people see the light at the end of the tunnel.”
Expats watch SA unrest with heartache and horror
“Last week’s events ripped the plaster off of a big wound. They forced me to re-examine my life in South Africa – things I miss and don’t miss, my reasons for leaving, and my experiences there,” says Dan Brotman, who lived in South Africa for 10 years before leaving for Canada late last year. He is one of many expatriates who have been heartbroken watching the recent civil unrest from afar.
Many Jewish South Africans living abroad say that while we might imagine they feel glad to be far away, in reality, it’s often the opposite – their connection to the country feels even stronger at these times.
“The last week drew me closer to other South African expats,” says Brotman. “I found myself getting together with a lot of South Africans, discussing events and how painful it was to watch this happen. I don’t know of expats saying, ‘Thank G-d I got out.’ Our hearts are breaking from afar. Even if we don’t live there right now, we still feel connected to the country.”
It’s a sentiment many other expats share, describing how they couldn’t sleep for days as they watched the rioting and looting on their screens. “Even though I live in Israel, I’m still deeply invested in South Africa,” says Guy Lieberman. “My work and projects are there. I own a home in Joburg. I’m committed to, pray for, and rely on the success of the South African economy. Beyond that, South Africa is my first home country – it’s where I grew up. It’s who I am. My family and friends are there – the brilliant, talented individuals that make up our community.
“I felt ill seeing the looting unfolding. Last Shabbat, not knowing what was happening and being so far away, was gut-wrenching,” he says. “I had friends who were affected, a relative who was stuck on the N3 who witnessed the fires, and a friend whose Durban warehouse was ransacked and their fleet set alight.”
For those who grew up in Durban and now live overseas, it has been especially hard to watch. “I felt heartbroken. I’m still very connected to Durban,” says Tanya Hirsch, who lives in the United States. “I was 18 when I left Durban, and it’s still very much part of my soul. I was scared and couldn’t sleep for days, afraid for what the community must be feeling, and with lots of memories. Other expats who are here who still have close family in Durban are fearful for the future and feel helpless at being so far away.”
Jenna Lewinsky, who lives in Israel, says, “I felt really saddened as I lived in KwaZulu-Natal (KZN) for 28 years and understand that many innocent and law-abiding citizens are now left not only to defend their own homes, but have no food security.”
She even emailed Prince Thulani Zulu from the royal Zulu household. “He emailed me back that he was in urgent need of food parcels for people in rural areas. I jumped into action to get quotations for truck haulage from Johannesburg to Ulundi, and got a price for a four-ton truck with two-ton trailer. I looked online at what groceries cost, and estimated about $5 000 [R72 900] needed to be raised to send a truck with food parcels down. An American friend and I made many calls, but so far have got no donations for the cause. COVID-19 has reduced small and medium businesses to ashes globally, and it’s hard to mobilise support.”
Her mother still lives in KZN, “and she couldn’t even fill her tank with petrol or buy enough groceries. I have, of course, helped her. And I got a group of people to daven for the safety, well-being, and rebuilding of the Jewish community and also for favour for those that need to move to Israel. But I’m not happy until prayers are matched with action, and even though I’m just one person, I’m trying my best to drum up whatever support I can.”
Michael Foreman, who now lives in London, says, “I’ve always remained connected – my parents stayed in Durban. My mom passed away last year and my dad now lives in [the Jewish aged home] Beth Shalom. It was terrifying for the residents to receive videos of unrest so close to where they were living, and the staff that care for them not being able to come to work. The shopping centre where my mom used to do her shopping was less than a kilometre away, and it was badly looted.
“A group of us who were at school together would get together often [before COVID-19] and are very close. At one of those meetings, my good friend Jeremy Droyman [who still lives in Durban] appealed to us to remember the ageing community there. I got the idea of building a global virtual community, and set up a website and Facebook page titled, It’s Durban Calling.”
The Facebook page is a dynamic and growing group with Jewish Durban expats from all over the world. So when events transpired last week, it was perfectly positioned to lead relief efforts for the Durban Jewish community. “Not being able to do much from overseas was scary. So we decided to do an emergency appeal. Jeremy said he was planning to airlift supplies, and we organised a fundraiser for it. We already had an international PayPal account and a charitable trust set up, so we were able to launch the appeal very quickly.” They managed to raise R70 000 in 24 hours, and that amount is growing [R105 000 raised as of Tuesday morning 20 July]. “Every bit helps, and it allows the community abroad to do something.”
Meanwhile, expats who hail from other cities in South Africa have also been deeply affected. Elan Burman, now in the United States, says, “I still feel a very close connection, both because so many family and friends are still there, and because of how inalienable South Africa is from my personal identity. I wish I could have been part of the crowd cleaning up and helping.”
He called on his American friends to make donations to organisations like Afrika Tikkun, and to purchase South African food and wine to support the South African economy. “Now, more than ever, my soul is in South Africa, hoping for a brighter tomorrow,” he says.
Sianne Menashe, who lives in the United Kingdom, says, “My dad and sister [and her family] plus in-laws and friends are all still in South Africa. The videos and images were devastating! I had a lot of hope seeing [former president Jacob] Zuma going to jail. [After the riots], my main emotion was sadness. I have a lot of friends that live in townships, and it’s been heart breaking to hear what’s going on. They’ve all been really scared – gunshots through the night. And now they’re the ones suffering the most.”
She’s upset about the notion of “smug expats”. “A lot of us were offended [by this] because we’ve been doing everything we can [financially] to help people there especially during COVID-19,” she says. “I love South Africa and I want her to flourish. South Africans living out of South Africa still strongly identify as South Africans.”
Liora Benater in Australia says, “South Africa will always have a piece of my heart. Last week’s events made me incredibly sad and overwhelmed, seeing so much destruction, businesses being lost, and the vaccine rollout being halted. Most of the events weren’t publicised on Australian news, which was alarming, and I had to source videos and information myself.
“I checked in with my brother almost every day to make sure he and his family were safe, and my husband did the same with his family. Family members reported hearing gunshots from their home in Johannesburg. A number of Facebook friends posted things like South Africans living abroad shouldn’t comment or judge, which made me angry. We decided to leave South Africa, but this doesn’t mean we don’t care anymore.”
- To support the Durban Jewish community, visit https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=GTKQ48MPZVCR4
WhatsApp messages use Jewish community to sow divisions
As social media in South Africa last week became a minefield of fake news and incitement amidst civil unrest, one WhatsApp user attempted to draw the South African Jewish community into the fray.
Messages written by someone who called himself “Ari Goldberg – Israeli peacekeeper” were full of profanities and hate speech against the Indian community, including the line, “The Jews in Israel will kill you.”
They were posted with images of Israeli flags on a group called “Durban Support”. According to a member of the group, most of the people on it were members of the Indian community.
The person also changed the topic of the group from “Durban Support” to “Mossad is watching you!” and “SA must burn and die”. Members of the group told its admin to remove the user, which it did. However, the damage he caused may have the long-term effect of sowing divisions between the Jewish and Indian communities where none existed before.
The messages were shared with SA Jewish Report chairperson and tech guru Howard Sackstein, who immediately tried to put out the fire by emphasising that they were created to sow division and hatred at a time when communities are feeling vulnerable.
“This is clearly fake nonsense specifically sent to try ferment racial hatred,” he responded to the person who queried it. “It’s quite obvious from the following – the guy claims to be an ‘Israeli peace keeper’, but Israel doesn’t deploy peace keepers anywhere. The number used [to send the messages on WhatsApp] is American, not Israeli. India and Israel have a very close relationship.
“The telephone number is unlisted on True Caller, which means it has been used specifically to send this message – a clear sign of someone trying to incite hatred. People who use fake numbers would never put their names to a message.
“The number is registered in Sioux Falls South Dakota, United States,” Sackstein said. “I have searched, and there appears to be no Jewish community in Sioux Falls South Dakota. I have googled, and there is no Ari Goldberg in Sioux Falls South Dakota. All this means is that someone thinks this is a good time to try create racial hatred between Jews and Indians where none exists. One has to ask, what sort of sick person would do this?”
He requested that his message be sent to the WhatsApp group where the ugly messages were posted. “People must know that political looters and criminals must be exposed and dealt with. I have been to India four times, and many of my close friends are Indian – no fake instigator will ever drive a wedge between us.”
So, why would someone create a message like this, hoping to stir up hatred and divisions between Jews and Indians? “In vulnerable times like last week, we see the best and worst in people,” said local social-media expert Sarah Hoffman. “We have witnessed people trying to rebuild, but we’ve also witnessed existing prejudices and burning hatred. When people are under pressure, it’s an opportune time to make such kind of comments.” She encouraged people to disassociate themselves actively from such comments if they are shared on a WhatsApp group, and to encourage the group admin to block the user.
In the wider context, “We have seen massive polarisation of society globally, as witnessed during elections in the United States and Israel, and in political divisions in South Africa,” said local tech expert Arthur Goldstuck. “As a result, individuals feel emboldened to stir the pot with a mixture of their own bigotry and their desire to see the worst happen to the ‘other’. Refusal to acknowledge the rights of those with different views is a ‘pandemic’ in itself. Our own community witnesses this daily, as do others, and religious and political leaders don’t have the emotional intelligence to understand their own roles in either condoning or failing to condemn such attitudes.
“You don’t have to be an extremist to be a bigot, and that’s part of the problem,” he said. “Ordinary people who see themselves as decent and even reasonable develop blind spots when it comes to other races, nationalities, and political views. Blind support of populist leaders has created a massive us-and-them crisis in which everyone loses. The resultant chaos allows agents provocateur to behave with impunity, confident they won’t have to face consequences, and relish in their apparent power to sow further division.
“Multicultural society is detested by bigots, and the antipathy towards multiculturalism in our own community provides fuel for the expression of hatred towards others. Only if we move from an ‘us-and-them’ mentality to a ‘we’ mentality can we reduced bigotry.”
Said Karen Allen, senior research advisor on emerging threats in Africa at the Institute for Security Studies, “We see this [kind of message] at times of heightened tension and unrest. People stir the pot by tossing divisions into the mix, especially when they are feeling vulnerable. For example, we saw it during the xenophobic attacks or at the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic. Often there are more users on these platforms during difficult times, so it’s an opportunity to amplify messages. They aim to drive divisions at certain points in time.
“Also, social media allows for a much wider reach. Imagine that this person took to the streets of Durban with a loudhailer, he would reach only a certain number of people,” she said. “But on social media, the way the algorithm is designed, it amplifies such messages. So even if you share this message online to say it’s awful, the fact that you shared it propels it further.”
Therefore, she advises that users don’t re-share something abusive or hateful, even if it’s to criticise it. “South Africa is a divided country,” she said. “Touchstone issues include race and sometimes the divisions between certain communities. The fact that social media and messaging platforms can be anonymous means that often there’s little consequence for it.”
However, South Africa’s new Cybercrimes Act, which has just been signed into law, may start to have an impact. “Malicious communications on social-media platforms are offences under the Act. Part two of the Act makes it an offence to incite damage to property or threaten to damage property or persons,” Allen said.
Furthermore, “if tweets, messages, or conversations include fake or deliberately manipulated images, the offences may amount to cyber forgery. Simply re-sharing deliberately manipulated content that is malicious could make any one of us unwittingly assistants in committing a crime.”
Sackstein said that these messages aren’t necessarily created to support one side or the other, but to “create as much chaos as possible, because if you destabilise your opponent, it weakens them”. That’s why someone writing a message like this may be a person who would “benefit from additional racial strife”, and the Jewish community is just a tool for them to achieve that. Tomorrow, they could post a similar message trying to create discord amongst other communities.
“It’s important that we understand the context and the dangers. It’s a deliberate attempt to sabotage. Be very careful what you share or forward as you are possibly being manipulated,” he said.
Meanwhile, Police Minister Bheki Cele said in a speech on 13 July, “We issue a stern warning to those circulating inflammatory messages on social-media platforms which are aimed at inciting violence and disregard of the law. Those who engage in such acts will be liable for criminal offence and can receive a fine or be sentenced to imprisonment for a period not exceeding three years.”
From the cockpit – secrets of a Jewish pilot
Veteran South African pilot Robert Schapiro wrote Secrets from the Cockpit before he died. His wife, journalist Arlene Getz, talks to Mirah Langer about it.
How did the book come into being?
It evolved from Robert’s decision to write about his life for our son, Morgan. As Robert wrote in his introduction, Morgan loved his stories, and always said he should write them down.
Robert finished the manuscript after he was diagnosed with mesothelioma, a rare asbestos-related cancer that affects the lining of the lung, and I promised him I’d edit it and get it published.
The two of you attended Herzlia. What are some of your earliest memories of him and his determination to break the mould of expected careers for “nice Jewish boys” at the time?
Robert and I met when we were in a school play in primary school. Even back then, flying was all he talked about. I remember clearly how so many people either made fun of him for it or just felt sorry for him because flying school was so competitive.
For me, Robert’s memoir is relevant on many levels. Yes, it’s about a young man who fought the odds to live his dream. But it’s more than just the story of one person’s life. It’s also a snapshot of an era in the evolution of aviation and in the history of South Africa.
In order to fulfil Robert’s dream of becoming a pilot, he had to enter the apartheid-era South African Air Force and was even involved in the border war. Yet, he was clearly ideologically against the state. How did he navigate this?
Remember this was the 1970s, when all the young men of my generation were conscripted for national service, and many of them did get deployed to the border. What was different was that his passion for flying made him agree to join the Permanent Force because it was the only way he could get the pilot training he needed to get into South African Airways (SAA).
He was subject to rampant antisemitism. How did he cope?
Robert sums up the antisemitism right at the start of the book, when he wrote, “Not a day – sometimes not an hour – of my years in the South African military went by without one of my Afrikaner barrack mates calling me Jood [Jew]. They weren’t saying it to be nice.”
He said that it wasn’t unusual for the Jewish recruits to be pulled out of the ranks to do unpleasant menial jobs. In Robert’s case, it must have been worse because he would have been the lone Jew.
Sometimes he’d have to talk his way out of things, like the time when his barracks mates asked him to speak “Jewish”. He started telling them in Hebrew how little he thought of them, and realised when he saw their shocked faces that he’d actually switched his insults into Afrikaans by mistake.
Most times, he said, he ignored it unless it became more than harmless name-calling. Then he either fought back hard or ran away and hid.
How did the two of you get married?
We started dating after we bumped into each other at a restaurant in Cape Town. He was already in SAA, and I’d recently graduated from Rhodes with my journalism degree. When we got married a few years later, one of his aunts told me how happy she was that we’d finally got together because as a child, he’d never stopped talking about me.
Robert offers a behind-the-scenes look at some of the behaviour and culture of SAA. What did he find the most startling?
Air crews could have as long as a one-week stopover in places like Lisbon, and it wasn’t unusual for some pilots to spend the time waiting for their return flight doing little else but visiting local bars. On Robert’s first international trip, the captain got so drunk one night, he ended up passing out on the floor of a local train.
Robert also disliked the autocratic captains known in the airline as the Royal Family. Many were World War II veterans who reigned over their cockpits, expected blind obedience, and thought the rules didn’t apply to them.
What did Robert’s Jewish identity mean to him?
He didn’t just see himself as a pilot, he saw himself as a Jewish pilot.
Tradition was important to him. He grew up in an Orthodox home, loved family Shabbat dinners, and had us all in stitches when he used to describe the weird sounds of meat being put into the mincer when his granny made pirogen.
He was an active member of our New York shul community, and impressively dedicated to teaching Morgan his Barmitzvah portion.
Which is your favourite anecdote in the book and why?
One story that is just so Robert is when he decided he needed a pet to keep him company during one of his training courses in Japan. Hotel rooms aren’t exactly conducive environments for that, but Robert decided that one of the small red crayfish he’d seen at the local fishmonger would be the answer.
He ended up having to buy three of the creatures because the fishmonger wouldn’t sell him less than 200g worth, brought them back to his room, agonised over what to feed them, wondered why they barely moved, and then hid under the sheets when they became energised enough to wake him up with the clacking of their claws in the middle of the night. He ended up keeping just one of the three, and of course, he named him Claw.
Tell us more about what he was like beyond the pages of the book.
Robert was, to use one of his favourite words, a mensch. He was kind and generous.
He was enormously talented. He made gorgeous wooden furniture, restored old houses, and was an excellent cook. He baked incredible bread. At the same time, he was genuinely modest.
He was very much his own person. When he wasn’t in his pilot’s uniform, he lived in torn T-shirts and baggy shorts covered in paint stains. He hated formal clothes, and thought he was very clever when he found sweatpants that were the same colour as the flying pants issued by Nippon Cargo Airlines (NCA). He used to change into those after take-off, and tell himself that no-one could tell the difference. NCA managers didn’t see it quite the same way.
He was a wonderful father. And I couldn’t have asked for better, or funnier, husband.
How does Morgan feel to see the book in print?
Robert always regretted that his flying meant he had to spend so much time away from us. Years ago, he wrote, illustrated, and self-published a series of children’s stories for Morgan. The first one was called, Where Does Daddy Go? and it showed Morgan what Robert did when he was on a flight. It ends with Robert telling Morgan how he misses him every day that he’s away.
Morgan loved those books and is thrilled about the memoir making it into print.
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