MIRAH LANGER
Yet, be it a solo affair, a most unusual dinner date for two, or a soireée serving the elite guest list of your lockdown flock only, it certainly doesn’t mean that Pesach 2020 can’t be meaningful.
“For me, this Pesach isn’t about making the table fancy, it’s not about finding the last well matured 4kg scotch fillet, it’s about stopping, being humble, and reflecting that our ancestors had faith. They took the flour and water mix on their backs and, with faith in Hashem, left all they knew behind,” says Johannesburg fashion designer and mom, Janine Waisbrod, in musing about this year’s upcoming Pesach time.
Waisbrod says that the context in which the world finds itself actually brings to life the themes of Pesach more richly than ever before.
“We are in our own exodus … We have a Moses who has told us to remain indoors as there is a plague that will befall the people.”
Waisbrod said she would use the intimate space of this year’s seder to really engage with her daughter in reflecting on this part of Jewish history.
“We are going to go through the haggadah discussing the pictures and stories. I’m going to ask my daughter about the story and what it means to her. My deep desire is that at the end of our seder, my daughter has a real connection with how much faith we as a nation have displayed through history and that now, in this new chapter of history, we need to display.
Furthermore, even though the usual choice of location, location, location for the site of your seder might already be preselected for you, this doesn’t mean there isn’t space for connection.
Donna Kedar, who lives in a small complex, suggests that if there are communal areas available, neighbours could stay safely distant but still share in the reading of the haggadah.
“I’m in a complex of only six units, and we are thinking of potentially setting up tables outside each unit which will be more than two metres away from each other.”
“We won’t share food, but it’s a way of bringing people together.”
It also means that the children in the complex will be able to play a starring role for those separated from their own offspring or other younger family members at this time. “The children can ask the questions, and it will make it more lively.”
She urges people not to simply see this year’s Pesach seder as a disappointment that should just be completed as quickly as possible. While exact family traditions might not be able to be replicated, there is the chance to create new ones.
The internet is awash with suggestions on how to keep family ties close even when physically apart.
One Google document being shared around the world titled, “A different Pesach: ideas for the solo seder”, has suggestions like asking each family member to compile a different thinking point/discussion page about a particular section of the haggadah. Younger children can be asked to decorate or draw pictures for the different sections. These documents are then shared digitally to all related households and printed out, serving as a collaborative conversation starter from afar.
Other families are using the opportunity to compile their very own family tradition recipe books. Each member shares culinary guidelines for a particular dish. All the households from an extended family then elect to cook the same dishes for each course of their separate seders.
Another popular option is to use digital meeting apps like Zoom to share various rituals of Pesach.
Cape-Town-based grandfather Ivan Lipschitz is happy that although he and his wife are no longer able to fly up to join their daughter, son-in-law, and grandson in Johannesburg, they will still share the evening online.
“We so looked forward to sharing yom tov [the Jewish holiday] with our loving family, spending precious time, and celebrating being together. There’s nothing more enjoyable than joining them. The prospect of the two of us at a solo seder isn’t appealing, so it is with a lot to look forward to that we will be connected via a Zoom seder with our beautiful family.
“We’re glad that we’ll be able to recite some haggadah texts, especially Ma nishtanah halailah ha’zeh? [Why is tonight different from all other nights?],” said Lipschitz, before saying, “Please G-d, next year we’ll celebrate together in person.”
His daughter, Michal Alhadeff, says that it’s equally meaningful for her and her husband to be able to connect remotely to other family members.
“As in previous years, this year, we planned to host the first-night seder and have my parents fly up. However, as we started hearing about the coronavirus and the risk of flying [especially with my parents being seniors], we thought that they could possibly drive up instead. When the statistics started getting worse, and the anxiety mounted across the country, we realised that even driving up would be too risky. And so, once the lock down was implemented, I sent a Zoom invite to both my parents and my husband’s family to dial into our ‘Zoom seder conference’.
“It will be challenging, but I think very much worth it, and even though our son, Eitan, is only 22 months old, it will be exciting for him too!”“
