Waksman’s tragic death saves multiple lives

In the darkest hours of their lives, Lauren and Larry Waksman made a decision that would save others. Just days after their beloved 19-year-old son, Gavi, collapsed during a run and never regained consciousness, the devoted Orthodox couple chose to donate his organs, a rare decision in the community where awareness of organ donation is still limited and is often not considered an option.

“We both just knew,” said Lauren. “He would have wanted this. Gavi was a giver. It made sense in that moment, even through the pain. It was who he was.”

That choice, made in consultation with their rabbi, a social worker close to the family, and Dr Reuven Jacks, the medical director of Hatzolah and the Life2Life organ donation initiative, has already saved multiple lives.

The Beth Din, the office of the chief rabbi, and Life2Life work together to ensure that organ donation in South Africa is done in the best manner. Doctors from Life2Life work with local organ donor authorities to ensure that donation is done in accordance with the guidelines of the chief rabbinate of Israel, which accepts the view that brain-stem death is the true definition of death.

It was Thursday, 10 October 2024, two and a half years after Gavi’s near-fatal myocarditis in May 2022. He had steadily rebuilt his life, embracing his passions – running, volleyball, soccer, and Torah learning – despite the lingering challenges of short-term memory loss. That day, he left home for a run, one of his greatest joys. Lauren tracked his route on a livestream WhatsApp location share, as she often did for peace of mind.

When he didn’t return, she drove the short distance from home and found Hatzolah already there, working to save him. Another runner had spotted him in distress. He had suffered an arrhythmia with sudden cardiac arrest.

History felt like it was repeating itself. He was rushed to Milpark Hospital. This time, though, the situation became clear: Gavi wasn’t going to wake up. It was the day before Yom Kippur.

On Friday, 18 October, their neurologist gently asked if Gavi had a living will or if he had ever spoken about organ donation.

“We looked at each other and knew. He would have wanted this. Gavi lived to give,” said Larry.

Dr Jacks, who knew Gavi from Bnei Akiva camp in December 2022 having encouraged the family to send him there despite his medical history, and who kept an eye on him there, said he had quietly considered the possibility of donation, but waited before bringing it up. “It’s never an easy thing to discuss at such a traumatic time, especially being close to the family,” he said. “But when they approached me, I was relieved.”

The urgency was immense. Organ donation is time-sensitive, and yom tov (Sukkot) was fast approaching the following Wednesday. Numerous tests were needed to meet strict halachic requirements, including extra confirmatory scans to ascertain brain-stem death in line with the standards of the chief rabbinate of Israel.

Strict halachic procedure also required a shomer – a halachically observant person – in the operating theatre to supervise. Lauren’s cousin, Rabbi Leron Bernstein, who lives in Israel and therefore observes only one day of yom tov, was trained by Dr Jacks to fulfil this role. There were no days to spare to preserve the organs.

Only their nearest and dearest were told about the decision. “We kept it quiet,” said Larry. “We just needed to focus on what had to be done.”

The family was asked if they wanted to wheel Gavi into theatre for their final goodbye. “It was the hardest thing in the world,” says Lauren. “You don’t expect to walk your child into theatre knowing you’ll never see them alive again. But we knew this was his last mitzvah – his biggest mitzvah.”

In life, Gavi had shown extraordinary resilience. After his first collapse, he endured a long recovery, even repeating a grade without his friends. “He never complained,” said Lauren. “He just accepted it and showed up – always with a smile.”

Letters written to him after his first incident told of his kindness. “One girl said she missed him because he was the only person who ever acknowledged and greeted her,” Lauren said. “That was who Gavi was – he saw people.”

Now, in his death, that kindness lives on – physically through those whose lives he has saved, and spiritually through countless acts in his memory. Family, friends, Bnei Akiva, King David Linksfield High School, Yeshiva Mizrachi, Aish Hatorah, and community members have been running races, playing volleyball, learning Torah, saying tehillim, and doing chesed and mitzvot in his honour.

Gavi leaves behind his younger brother, Benji, 16, and sister, Eliana, 10, who, like their parents, are deeply proud of the impact he has made.

It has taken time, but the Waksmans are now sharing their story in the hope of raising awareness about organ donation within the Jewish community. Larry has already spoken in shuls to Jewish audiences, talks that are deeply emotional but, he hopes, will spark much-needed conversations.

They want people to know that organ donation, when done in accordance with halacha, is possible, and that it can save lives.

Hatzolah Chairperson Lance Abramson said Life2Life was founded on the Jewish principle that a person who saves a life saves an entire universe.

“Organ donation is one of the most sensitive and debated topics in Jewish law, centring on whether brain-stem death constitutes halachic death,” he said.

Though rabbinic opinion on this issue remains divided globally, Life2Life ensures that in South Africa, those who follow the opinion allowing it can donate organs in strict accordance with halacha.

It operates under the guidance of the office of the chief rabbi and Johannesburg Beth Din, following the protocols of the chief rabbinate of Israel. A Life2Life doctor is present for the clinical determination of death; oversees an additional confirmatory scan; and remains in theatre to ensure that any unused organs are respectfully returned for burial.

Members of the community can now register as a Life2Life organ donor, and fill out a donor declaration form to ensure halachic compliance in line with the chief rabbinate of Israel’s principles. For more information, contact Life2Life at 0860 222 234.

“We were so blessed to have him as our son,” said Lauren. “We miss him every day. We’re in Hashem’s hands, and we try to live each day with gratitude because you never know what’s going to happen. Gavi taught us that.”

In life, Gavi gave his all. In death, he gave even more.