As we wait for the lights to come on, it’s easy to contemplate our navels or, more seriously, consider where we’re at in our lives and where we want to be.
The frustration of loadshedding that seems endless makes it more difficult to see the light, but it’s there. So, too, is the ability to forgive and find solace in letting go of the pain, damage, or sadness we were holding onto.
It’s perfectly fitting for this time of year, as we move into Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, the most auspicious time of the year.
I’ve been contemplating embodying forgiveness – what it means to me and how to manifest the kind of life I want to live.
When we asked our Jewish schools to encourage their high school pupils to write about what forgiveness means to them, I had no idea of the depth of understanding they would bring.
They comprehend that forgiveness isn’t just about saying sorry or accepting an apology, it’s about releasing the anger, blame, and any other negative thoughts one has. It doesn’t mean forgetting the pain and the cause, but it does mean letting it go.
When you feel pain or anger because of the pain someone has caused you, that particular person takes up a great amount of real estate in your mind. We allow them to push away all positive thoughts and possibilities, keeping us in a dark place, with the anger and pain and deeds done to us.
Forgiving someone, opens up that dark space in your mind. It allows you to move on. It gives you back that space to fill it with thoughts and experiences that could benefit your life.
This may sound simplistic because I don’t know what you’ve suffered or how you’ve been wronged or hurt, but I can say I cannot live a life of bitterness. I don’t want to hold grudges. I want so much more for myself. So, I forgive those who have harmed me, and allow them to walk away, giving me the freedom to do the same.
It’s not an easy process and I don’t say it lightly, but for me, it’s a necessity.
We’ve all seen those who hold onto their bitterness, anger, and pain, believing that to forgive will allow the person or people who wronged them to get away scot-free. They are wizened and aged. They are miserable and unhappy, and cannot see the sunshine and blossoms outside.
And the person or people who wronged them are likely to have moved on and care nothing for their wasted energy and pain. Who knows? But, as long as they still take up space in our mind, we can’t move on to better things. That’s just sad!
So, though forgiveness is a very personal thing, I believe it to be integral to the life I want to manifest for myself and those around me.
I was interested to read the chief rabbi talk along a similar lines (see page 15) about not just accepting what life gives you, but creating the life you want.
I know there are those who pooh-pooh the idea of us manifesting something that we want. We’re not G-d! We can’t create!
True, but we’re powerful in that we don’t just sit back and expect life to throw us all that we want, we make it happen. Sometimes that means telling people what it is you want to do. Though we’re not G-d, as the saying goes, G-d helps those who help themselves.
It’s time to help ourselves envisage the lives we want for ourselves, our community, and our country.
Don’t sit back and expect it to happen, it won’t. Do what needs to be done to make it possible. That way, you manifest it.
Consider this: you want your street and those around it to be safer. So, you could complain bitterly about how dreadful the country is, how unsafe our streets are, and how you’re sick and tired of living like this.
Or, you could get together with the people on your street and create a neighbourhood watch, in which two people patrol at a time. You could connect to CAP, and see how it could help you in your endeavour, and there you go. You have taken control and, just by virtue of the few things you’ve done, you’ve already made your streets safer.
You know, so much lies in our attitude to things. It’s easy to fall into the trap of holding grudges and complaining. Life can never be happy that way. That way, life is just a heavy burden.
Come Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, we’re not just given a free pass to let go of grudges and anger and reconfigure our lives, we’re told in the most serious terms to do so.
It’s a gift we get every single year. We get the chance to work out what isn’t working for us, and what we can let go of in order to live the lives we want to lead.
We get this time to consider, release, and move on. The consequences of not doing so can be dire. You know, the whole “being written in the Book of Life, or not” thing.
That aside, it’s unhealthy for anyone to carry a heavy load of anger, grudges, and all that’s unpleasant in the world. It’s enough to make anyone sick and desperately unhappy.
And, happiness is genuinely a choice. I’m not saying that there aren’t a lot of things that can take happiness from you and it’s not possible always to be happy, but you don’t always have to be sad, angry, and hurt. That’s not a natural state of being.
So, this Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, dump your load of grudges, forgive people, and manifest the life you want to live. It sounds easy, it isn’t, but it is possible.
Shana tova u’metukah, and I wish you all a meaningful fast!
Peta Krost
Editor
Please note: We won’t be publishing over the high holy days, and our next edition will be in stores on 27 October.
