My parents were married for 55 years, and I’m certain that not one of the 20 075 days that they were together was a day without argument. So intrinsic this was to their relationship, one of the main reasons that my father forced my mother to go for medical tests that would discover that she was ill was the fact that she wasn’t fighting with him nearly as much as she should have been. Agreement with him meant that something was seriously wrong.
Meals in our home were never the candle-lit kind. Discussions were never settled with, “to each their own” and a “please pass the salt”. My father would remain unsettled until he was summoned into the kitchen for a dressing down (that we all could hear), after which he would return, somewhat sheepish, but content nevertheless.
I come from a long tradition of robust debate. As Jews, we all do. We interpret, we argue, we “prove”, and we extrapolate. The Talmud isn’t a law book. It was an attempt to “settle” the Mishna, but in fact has allowed us to continue to wrestle with the concepts that ultimately define who we are. Maimonides, while living in Egypt, wrote and published the Mishneh Torah, which was an attempt to combine religious law and philosophy and serve as a code of laws that teaches as well as prescribes conduct. As magnificent as the work was and is, initially it encountered tremendous backlash, not because of inaccuracy but simply because it had the potential to shut down debate. A sign of terminal illness.
Criticism can be an important, albeit painful, part of growth. The ability to take on board relevant comments while rejecting those which are not is a challenging but ultimately critical factor in our development.
Which is why I’m perplexed by the mounting pressure not to criticise, not to debate, and not to “undermine” when it comes to the government, the handling of the COVID-19 crises, and the vaccine rollout. In the past week, there has been increasing criticism, not of the issues but of criticism itself.
I know the pressure I have come under not to “rock the boat”, to “be grateful”, and not to “undermine” the government’s efforts. I have been labelled as attention seeking and scurrilous, amongst other things, because I have done so. And whereas, given my family background, it takes more than a few barbs to offend me, it nevertheless does perplex me. Comment, criticism, and debate are important. There will be times when I will get it right, sometimes only partially so, and sometimes I will get it wrong. But I won’t stop commenting because it makes anyone uncomfortable.
I’m certain that I’m not the only one facing pressure to be silent. And I’m certain that buckling to this pressure won’t serve us. Not as a country, community, or personally.
Social media might have confused argument with insult. And whereas there’s very little justification for disrespect, there’s almost no argument for silence and blanket acquiescence.
That’s our legacy. And it’s one worth defending.
