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It was never going to snow in Johannesburg. I knew this because nothing kills the possibility of snow quite like half the city staring out the...
I’d like to make a request on behalf of the Jewish people. Could someone else please take over for a week? We’re exhausted. Running absolutely everything might sound...
There are two types of people in the world. Those who delete a document, unopened, when they realise it was sent to them by mistake. And those who...
Around a week before I got married, my father decided it was time for an intervention. Not the “Sit down, son, let’s talk about your obsession with Holocaust literature” kind. More...
I’ve started to worry that living a long life is becoming a full-time job. As someone who has recently burrowed deep into the rabbit hole of longevity,...
I have no recollection of where I was when I first heard the word “peptide”. Nor do I know where I’ll be when I finally understand exactly what one is. What...
We might be good at weddings. We might even be world-class at Barmitzvahs. And if there’s a kumzitz anywhere within a 50km radius, we’ll somehow find ourselves singing in harmony around a guitar. But...
When I asked whether it surprised him in any way that his son Elon had not only become the world’s richest man, but had also reached,...
Nobody ever taught me not to stop at the top of an escalator. No wise elder sat me down and explained that when I reach the top, I...
I was ordering something on Takealot when I remembered that the half-cup measuring thingy I use for my morning oats had gone missing in action. Rather than...
There comes a moment in every man’s life when he realises he’s no longer in the middle of the dance circle. I had this realisation over the weekend at the wedding of...
Someone who confused me with my late father had added me to a “40 years since school” WhatsApp group. “Shame,” was my first reaction. I should probably reply that he won’t be attending...
My wife wasn’t impressed. Not for the first time, she was concerned about something I was “putting out there”. To be fair, what I said was a little weird,...
I used to be a hypochondriac. Until I discovered that I, in fact, suffer from something far more current, and far more insidious. It’s called cyber-chondria. And, as far as I...
I have never forgotten. And never forgiven the elephant. Not that he has any idea. It was many years ago, at a lodge not unlike the...
Earlier this week on air, I asked listeners a simple question: If you had your own personal customer service line, what would people complain about most? The answers...
We stood just off to the side of the post-Shabbat crowd, engaged in polite conversation. It was just after Passover. Kiddush had returned, along with the...
The idea that G-d “hardened Pharaoh’s heart” has long been a source of debate at our seder table. One of my children, now an adult, but...
Context is everything, which is why you need to know this before hearing my side of the story. For the past nine months I have been...
It sounded more fun than it was. “When you come upstairs,” I called down to my wife, “please bring disposable gloves and a plastic packet.” She didn’t need...
Ideas for a Purim shpiel on ChaiFM are debated weeks before the festival. What is too real? Too close to the bone? Too sensitive? Too dated? And most importantly,...
Although I swore I never would, I finally gave in and tried the whole “cold plunge” thing. I got behind a trend that chiselled people swear...
There are two kinds of people in shul. The first comes to daven. The second comes to audit. The first wants a minyan, a siddur, and silence....
Unless I’m reading the transcript at a Broadcasting Complaints Commission of South Africa hearing, I can barely remember what I said on air this morning. And yet, today, 35 years to...
There are Jewish festivals. And then there are Jewish Jewish festivals. And even at the risk of angering global-warming enthusiasts everywhere, I remain of the firm belief that Tu B’Shvat is the...
We had just finished dinner, when my wife asked if I wanted her to make me a chicken salad to take for lunch the next day. It...
There are two types of people in the world: those who respect rules and those who don’t. My late father took regulations very seriously. My late mother...
Mattel has unveiled its first autistic Barbie. She comes with a fidget spinner, avoids eye contact, and arrives in a box of corporate virtue. Representation, we’re told, matters....
We comforted ourselves with the fantasy that if antisemitism ever surged, it would show up slowly on the radar, giving us time to sip our tea...
I’m inventing a new word today. Right here, in this column. I don’t often coin new terms, but when the dictionary fails us, someone has to step in. The word is “fringing”. Fringing (verb): The act of pushing...
Anyone who says they aren’t a fan of Hallmark Christmas movies is either a liar or a jilted fiancé. You remember him? He’s the finance bro, always named Jayce or Tyler, who watches helplessly...
Black Friday used to mean queues outside shops at 05:00. Today it’s much more sophisticated. We sit at home in pyjamas hitting “refresh” on Takealot like we’re trying to resuscitate the economy. Credit cards...
Farmer Pete, it seems, feels very strongly about eggs. Or chickens. Or perhaps the fragile balance between the two. Which is why, according to the New York Post, he...
My relationship with my bean-to-cup coffee machine isn’t a particularly good one. And whereas I know that every partnership has its ups and downs, this time...
The other day, I was wrong. And whereas in itself that’s far from unusual, what differentiated this particular incident is that I hadn’t yet said anything...
Getting older isn’t for sissies. And while it certainly beats the alternative, my brief hospital visit this week left me wondering by how much. Where the...
Every family has one. And as unique as you might think they are, they hardly differ from each other. Each has at least one participant who...
Longtime broadcaster and morning show host Howard Feldman is taking over the reins of ChaiFM as Kathy Kaler, who has been at the helm for more...
For the most part, I find death threats absurd. Even humorous. I’ve been photoshopped into gas chambers; “invited” to meet in dark alleys in Cape Town;...
This week marks three years since the passing of Queen Elizabeth II. And while I’m hardly a monarchist, I’ve always been fascinated by the peculiar traditions...
