The kindest soul who gave us the gift of a hedgehog

Steven taught so many of us about Spiny Norman the Hedgehog. 

It is hard to fathom and process the devastating news of his murder. Gentle and kind, curious and wise, and extremely funny, Steven was the embodiment of the word mensch. Decent. 

Steven was my madrich (youth leader) at machaneh (camp) when I was child. His leadership style not only left a lasting impression, but helped mould me and so many into the people we are today. Steven had a brilliant and dry sense of humour and was extremely creative. As a leader of rambunctious and impressionable youth, he knew how to strike the right balance between entertaining us with humour – regaling us with stories about Spiny Norman the Hedgehog, who I suspect was his invention, doing Monty Pythonesque impressions with silly walks, and sending us into fits of laughter with his funny faces and dry humour – and imparting wisdom and guidance to bring out the best in us. Maybe this is why I have such an affinity for hedgehogs – the memory is so joyful. 

The most important lesson Steven taught a generation of us was about our personal value systems. At a dark time in South Africa’s history, when questioning the system was almost forbidden, Steven taught us about the importance of asking questions, opening our minds, and probing information. This is a skill so sorely lacking today. Besides teaching us how to put up tents and enjoy the playfulness of all that machaneh had to offer, he shepherded us through the serious and emotional conversations. 

He taught us about human rights and dignity, and the importance of respecting people. He taught us about pride in our Jewish and Zionist identity. Steven taught us how to take joy in being Jewish, lit a fire of love inside us for our beloved Israel, and made the songs we learnt meaningful. He could also break into a rousing edition of something from Monty Python. 

Steven brought the same dedication to songs around the campfire and removing spiders from the tents of shrieking campers as he did to opening our minds and encouraging us to achieve. Steven, the gifts you gave us of independence, confidence, humour, creativity, curiosity, and unfailing moral compasses will be those that we pass on to the next generations. This is your legacy to all who knew you. 

He brought all of these qualities and more into his work and it was a privilege and joy to speak to him regularly, as a friend and colleague. He was brilliant and skilled and never lost his curiosity. He always made sure to check on the well-being and safety of my family, especially during these challenging times in Israel. 

Steven took pride in all he did – and enjoyed the success of everyone around him. The only thing I would not do is play him in a game of Scrabble! He was a champion for a reason. 

My last conversation with Steven was about his excellent article covering the parliamentary debate about South Africa’s support for Iran. We enjoyed analysing the various viewpoints expressed and shared our own theories and predictions. I will miss these interactions more than words can say. 

Steven Gruzd and his wife, Mandy Gruzd

The death of Steven is unfathomable. The loss is immense for so many who knew him. I cannot fathom what this must be like for his beloved wife, Mandy, and his daughters. Steven Gruzd is irreplaceable. May his memory be eternally blessed. 

• Rolene Marks is a Middle East commentator often heard on radio and TV and is the co-founder of Lay of the Land and the SA-Israel Policy Forum.