Fear not, we have each other!

Our imagination or fears are often much worse and possibly less manageable than reality. In the past week, one of our favourite radio hosts and columnists got caught at Ben Gurion Airport when a missile hit the airport grounds. Never in a million years would Howard Feldman have dreamt that he would find himself in such a situation. He’s not that kind of media hound! And even when he was in the situation, he was having to pinch himself to believe it was happening. He survived to tell the story, thank G-d! And what a story it is on page 1!

Just how many times have you asked someone the age-old question of what they would take if their home was on fire and they had to evacuate urgently? I’ve been asked that so many times throughout my life, I know my answer by rote. It would be my and my family’s vital documents, my cellphone/laptop, and our photographs. There but for the grace of G-d, I’ve never had to make that choice in real life, and I hope that neither I nor anyone I love ever has to. In Israel last week, many Israelis had to make that decision when they were forced to evacuate their homes because of the biggest fire Israel has ever experienced. Some had to leave their cars on the road to run for safety among other death-defying actions. (See page 3.)

The point is, when you think about something like this happening, you can’t really imagine what it would be like. You can imagine the terror, you can imagine the horror, and you can feel the fear. But for most people caught in the moment, it’s simply a matter of not thinking too deeply, putting one foot in front of the other, and doing what you need to do to get to safety. Once you escape alive, you have the opportunity to collapse in a heap in tears or even scream and shout.

Somehow, these situations that seem so devastating are events that people can and do live through. Our tolerance for pain and our desperate inborn need to survive carries us through a great deal.

How many times since 7 October 2023 have you wondered how the hostages, some of whom are still in captivity more than 19 months later, get through each day incarcerated by terrorists? I think about it often, and am amazed that even now, 21 hostages are alive in Gaza. Each day must be hell, but somehow, they get through it to the next day. Clearly, not all of them.

I remember when Almog Meir Jan, rescued by the Israeli army, was in South Africa before Pesach. He spoke about how he survived each day. He described how he and those in captivity with him would wake up every morning and first, he would talk about the dreams he had during the night, and then they would each name 10 things they were thankful for. Meir Jan said that the latter was what kept him sane and called it their “exercise”. As time went on, those 10 things become more difficult to come up with, but they never reneged on doing this “exercise”.

During his captivity, Meir Jan created an 80-square calendar, crossing out one square a day, having convinced himself that on the 80th day, he would be free. I hate to think what would have happened if they hadn’t been rescued on day 76.

As humans, we find incredible ways of surviving. I’ve heard of political prisoners confined for years during apartheid who would exercise for an hour every day in a tiny prison cell, and that would keep them sane. Some would learn the Bible.

It is our intrinsic humanity that keeps us going.

But the unknown is extraordinarily frightening. When a long-term relationship ends, one you imagined would be a lifelong one, so often the devastation is more about the fear of how you will survive without them than them not being in your life.

And for those evacuating, fear of losing their home and not knowing where they would be thereafter is more frightening than the fact that they are in a death-defying situation.

For the released hostages, life now apparently isn’t easier to deal with than it was in captivity.

Can you remember what it was like to be forced to stay in our homes during the COVID-19 pandemic and not knowing if life would ever get back to normal? I remember snippets, but exactly what it was like, my mind doesn’t allow me to go there. Can you recall the fear we had of a loved one being taken by this illness? That was the most difficult part. Fear of the unknown.

When I see the ugly statements against Jews on social media, I feel fearful. I can imagine the worst, but really, I’m not imagining it, I’m fearing it. I don’t really know what the worst feels like. I worry about what can happen. I guess we all do.

But we don’t know what will happen. However, standing together against all odds and not allowing fear to get the better of us is the best way forward.

We can depend on each other. We are exceptional at looking out for one another and helping and guiding each other. As a community, as a Jewish world, we’re having a tough time. We’re not in a fire. We’re mostly not surviving missiles, but we need to band together to ensure our future in this country and this world.

Our innate resilience and wisdom will carry us, but it is essential to help one another through the morass and remember that we’re not alone.

I have no doubt that the experience of being at Ben Gurion Airport when the missile hit was horrific and will stay forever with those who were there. However, thank G-d, they survived to tell the story. The same goes for those who were evacuated in the fires.

Being at the Yom Ha’atzmaut celebration last week and seeing the community gelling and just being at home with one another was a beautiful thing to witness. If we can hold each other up during tough and good times, we won’t just survive, we will continue to thrive.

Shabbat shalom!

Peta Krost

Editor