Chaos and control

We all get angry and frustrated. There are few of us who never lose our tempers. We are all human. It is, however, how we choose to deal with our anger and frustration that has an impact on our lives and our health.

Sometimes that anger and frustration is because someone purposefully did something ugly to you. It happens. Not everyone is as kind and caring as we would like them to be.

Mostly, though, it is the things we can’t control that make us angry. Perhaps dinner being burnt because the person cooking was busy on their cellphone. It could be that you put a huge amount of effort into something you did at work and someone else got all the accolades. Perhaps you called on people to help carry a huge load and they had excuses – albeit fairly good ones – and you still landed up doing all the work. The scenarios are endless. Mostly these situations aren’t meant to harm you, but they hurt anyway.

At this time of year, the concepts of control, judgement, forgiveness, and considering how we want to live our lives are upfront on our minds because of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.

How do we want to live our lives? Do we want to be selfish and upset the people around us because they don’t do what we expect them to do? Do we want to be hurt by things we don’t have control over? Do we want to say no to something we want to do, but weren’t asked in the way that we wanted to be asked? In other words, cutting of our nose to spite our face. I think not, but it happens.

Life isn’t always easy. In fact, right now there are a lot of things happening that are hurtful, devastating, and having an impact on all of us, even though we may not be in the direct firing line. We have so little control, if any, over those massive things happening in our world. We can get mad and let it harm our lives. We can also have a good debate about it, and let it go if we cannot change the way it is.

However, the friends and family of the 48 hostages still in Gaza cannot escape that anger and frustration. They simply cannot choose to debate the issues and move on. Their lives, and the lives of so many Israelis, stopped on 7 October 2023, and their clock is stuck there.

I know that it’s not only Israelis who have been affected by the war that started after 7 October. It has been a horrific war, and so many lives have been lost. I know the lives of Gazans have been, and continue to be devastated, as have those of so many Israelis.

However, how do Israelis move on until they have their people back from Gaza? How do they allow this heinous terrorist organisation, which makes it clear repeatedly that it is determined to obliterate Israel and Jews, to keep running Gaza? We witnessed what they are capable of.

Having said that, the war has to end. There must be a way to make it happen. We all want it over. I would be surprised if there was one Israeli or diaspora Jewish family who wanted this war to continue. In this, I understand people’s frustration, which is so hard to dismiss.

As we head towards Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, and Sukkot, we pray for peace. We pray for people to be written in the book of life. We pray that our anger and frustration is over only small and meaningless issues. We pray that we can consider the reasons, put them in their place, and move on.

This is almost impossible in the light of the war between Israel and Hamas. As Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur end, so we have a countdown to Simchat Torah and the second anniversary of the worst attack on Jews since the Holocaust.

The images of that day are still indelibly inked into my brain, and I just saw photographs and videos. The horror of the day unfolding and the realisation of what was really happening is impossible to forget.

And while the world looks to Israel, claiming genocide, it seems to have forgotten about 7 October and what actually happened on that day. A depravity that knows no comparison. Still, there are so many in the world that dismiss that day as irrelevant. It will never be irrelevant to us. And although as South Africans, we may have been physically removed from what was happening in Israel, it was our people who were devastated, so it was us.

Had this not happened, there would be no war in Gaza. The thousands killed over the past two years would still be alive. It should never have happened, and it can never happen again.

We are a people who forgive, but we cannot forget. We are a people who accept a lot and may not be able to control everything in our midst, but we make a plan to look after one another.

In this edition, we bring you some outstanding spiritual voices and opinions that are worth considering over this time. We have lots of fascinating features to absorb you over the chaggim. Take your time to read what they have to offer you.

We will not be printing a newspaper until 23 October. However, we will not go “radio silent” either. We will still bring you newsletters to give you food for thought. Watch out to see what we have in store.

Shabbat shalom and chag sameach!

Peta Krost

Editor