Time for KDVP tears is over – looking forward

I have shed many tears at the news of the KDVP campus closing. It is very painful to have to accept that this still-thriving school is forced to shut down. However, the facts speak for themselves. Through the years, numbers have dwindled and there are just not enough projected pupils. This shutdown has far-reaching impact on the families in the area and the shul community, especially those who have bought homes and built their lives around the school. But, to try and “save it” as well intentioned as it might be, is I believe shortsighted, and not big picture or solution-orientated thinking.

Of course, I’m extremely sad about this eventuality. I matriculated from King David Victory Park in 1992 and spent all my school years there from Rose Gordon Nursery School all the way up – happily I might add. I think I had about 120 kids in my matric year. My parents built a home in Victory Park in 1979, are founding members of the Victory Park Shul, and still live in that very same house. The community that sprung up around the school is a close-knit and unique one with its own cultural fabric and way of being, perhaps a more secular community than the Glenhazel/Linksfield community. It offers the opportunity to practice Judaism in the ways that are meaningful for us with acceptance and non-judgement.

The sense of belonging that I felt from being a member of a tribe, and of being part of a strong community, that I went into the world with, cannot be adequately expressed, (although at the time this rather rebellious teen did not have the pre-frontal cortex development to recognise or appreciate it). I am a traditional, rather than a religious Jew. I believe in culture and heritage, I believe in community, I believe in belonging to something greater than the sum of its parts.

What has particularly angered and upset parents has been the perceived lack of transparency of the South African Board of Jewish Education (SABJE), and many feel completely blindsided. Although I wholeheartedly agree that it is the best decision moving forward to amalgamate campuses, I do feel that the way in which the decision was made unilaterally without consultation has shown a lack of respect to the parent and student body.

It’s obvious to me that the SABJE campuses should have joined together years ago, but through a gradual process instead of this crisis management. There are many shrewd businessmen on the Board who could have helped formulate strategies to make this transition feel less like a sudden amputation. I’m sorry to say that this also speaks to a certain arrogance of the Board, in knowing they are really our only option for a non-frum Jewish education in Johannesburg.

All I have wanted was for both my daughters to attend KDVP and have the same experience as me. KDVP, over the years, has garnered a reputation for nurturance, diversity, acceptance, and in encouraging children to be themselves without the insane, and in my opinion, damaging academic pressure of other private schools. For me, the drawcard has been the emphasis on Yiddishkeit and on its teachers truly caring for the children and who they are, rather than just their marks.

Currently, I have a daughter doing the Cambridge IGCSE at St John’s College. She was unfortunately bullied at KDVP. I moved her to King David Linksfield (KDL) (where she was also bullied! Please note that the term bullying refers to continuous and targeted negative toxic behaviour) and among a confluence of other challenging variables (an immune system disorder, COVID-19, and remote learning) and extreme pressure without any caring or assistance from staff, we made the decision to move her out of the SABJE system. Newsflash: bullying happens at all schools, but it is the way that it is dealt with that is most important. Jewish schools are supposed to not only create confidence and success but also menschen – and bullying has no place within this.

My younger daughter is in Grade 7 at KDVP and has been extremely happy there. We will be giving Grade 8 at KDL a whirl next year. Of course, I have my misgivings considering our personal previous experience. However, I feel it is important to try if we want her to have a Jewish education. Yes, KDL has a very different ethos from KDVP, but right now we need to look not to our differences but to the ways in which we are similar.

Of course, some children (and parents) will integrate more easily depending on personality, but there will be more than enough of us to find “our people”, especially if many KDVP kids and friends move too. Ultimately, we need to see this move as building our own resilience and that of our children, a necessary and valuable attribute that can only contribute to their future success. They will take their cues from us.

The time for tears is over. We need to look to the future – not just for our children but for our Jewish South African community as whole. More than ever, Jews need to stand together, to be united. It makes us stronger in all ways.

If KDL is to incorporate the majority of KDVP students, there needs to be plans put in place, a strategy to make this transition as smooth as possible. These are some suggestions:

• KDVP establishes a taskforce of parents for each grade who will collaborate with the other SABJE campuses on how to proliferate the heart and soul and ethos of KDVP into these schools.
• KDVP offers an integration committee that is stationed at KDL to assist new kids and parents with the transition and their concerns.
• KDL and other schools openly and wholeheartedly collaborate with the incoming parents and students.
• More respect and partnership must be offered to the parent body. For example, an acknowledgement of feedback and exit letters written by parents leaving the SABJE system for other schools would be a good start.
• SABJE does further research into why non-Jewish schools are attractive to parents and why the SABJE is losing kids to them.
• The issue of extreme academic pressure at KDL is managed and focus is placed on the well-being of the children.
• Logistics need to be put in place regarding transport: buses and lift schemes among parents.
• Bullying is dealt with swiftly and policy is strictly enforced.
• The issue of academic support is properly managed for the incoming kids.

If this is done with intention and purpose, then perhaps those of us who move our children from KDVP can feel that we are gaining a new community, instead of losing ours.

• Nikki Temkin is a journalist, author, and an accredited wellness coach who has been offering workshops and talks to schools and businesses on mental, physical, and emotional health and well-being since 2019. @NikkiTemkinWellnessCoach on Instagram.