Model resilience, not angst, over KDVP closure

I know our hearts are heavy right now. What we’ve experienced at King David Victory Park (KDVP) – the love, values, and sense of community – doesn’t end without profound grief.

I know we’re all sitting in different places with our feelings, concerns, frustrations, worries about the future, and that’s valid, after all, we are human and worrying about our kids is our default.

We’re worried about whether our children will thrive or just survive in their new environment. Whether the values we’ve cherished will be carried with us? How the social dynamics will shift?

What will happen to the teachers our children love and trust?

How we can shield our kids from feeling unwelcome or like outsiders? How we can preserve what we stand for, and ensure that KDVP’s spirit and legacy live on. Whether our children will fit in; if they’ll maintain their friendships; and how they’ll handle the transition. What happens if they struggle academically and socially? Will they lose their sense of identity? How do we navigate new social dynamics? What if the culture doesn’t align with our family values? Will our kids be safe emotionally and physically? How do we handle unknown policies that haven’t been communicated yet? What if our children’s needs aren’t met? Will they have access to the same opportunities?

How do we manage our own anxiety while supporting theirs? What if we make the wrong choice? How do we prepare them for changes that we don’t fully understand ourselves? What will our new support systems look like?

We’re anxious about the practicalities too – how we’ll manage the daily lifts; the drop off and pick-up traffic; the cliques; our perceptions; our stigmas, what they think of us versus what we think of them. The list goes on and on and on! We’re living in fear of a future that exists in our minds.

How do we maintain consistency when everything feels uncertain?

These worries consume us because they touch the core of what we want for our children: safety, belonging, growth, and the preservation of the community and values that have shaped our years at KDVP.

But, we are failing ourselves and our children by putting them through this upheaval!

At the end of the day, this is all noise.

What do we need to remember in this moment of transition?

Pause!

Your children are watching how you navigate this challenge. They’re learning from your response whether unexpected change means the end of something beautiful, or the beginning of something new. This is one of those pivotal moments where we get to model the resilience we want them to develop.

The heart and soul of KDVP – the values, love, sense of individual worth – doesn’t live in the building. It lives in you. It lives in your children. It lives in the teachers who poured their hearts into creating that culture.

These aren’t things that can be taken away, you take them wherever you go. That strong Jewish identity; that sense of being valued as individuals; that understanding of community – these are now part of who we are.

Instead of asking, “How do we protect our children from this change?”, let’s ask “How do we help our children grow through this change?”

Your children are learning that they can adapt and thrive in new environments; their identity isn’t dependent on external circumstances; they have the inner strength to handle unexpected challenges; and growth often comes wrapped in packages we didn’t choose.

Rather than trying to recreate KDVP in the new environment, what if we focused on helping our children to become the leaders who bring heart, soul, and individuality to their new school? What if instead of worrying about whether the new school will see their uniqueness, we focused on raising children who are so grounded in their worth that they shine their light wherever they go?

Our job isn’t to shield them from discomfort, it’s to help them develop the mental fortitude to handle whatever life brings. Children who learn to navigate significant transition with grace and resilience become adults who can handle anything.

Yes, grieve the loss. Honour our beautiful school. And then choose to see this as the beginning of a new chapter where your children get to write part of the story.

Trust in the strength you’ve already built in your children. Trust in their ability to adapt, grow, and even thrive in new soil. Trust that sometimes what feels like an ending is actually a beginning in disguise.

Your children don’t need you to fix this for them. They need you to show them how to face uncertainty with courage, how to carry their values into new spaces, and how to trust in their own resilience.

It’s not us versus them, or them versus us. Whichever school you choose, remember that we are one community, and we need to hold and support each other as best we can. Be kind to ourselves and each other.

The best way to honour KDVP is to raise children who can be lamp lighters wherever they go.

• Loren Lachman is a KDVP mom of three who believes in every child’s unlimited potential and in creating healthy mindsets that serve us. She’s the author of Make Your Brain POP: How to Master a Mindset of Power, Optimism, and Perseverance.