Progressive until it comes to sexual identity

The South African Jewish community sees itself as progressive, but something has been bothering me for a few years, namely the fact that Jewish members of the LGBTQ+ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, or questioning) community don’t seem to be fully embraced by it.

As a community, we are quick to denounce any kind of hatred, but as soon as someone in our own community experiences homophobia, it’s quickly swept under the rug.

So, it makes sense that many queer Jews have joined the Queers for Palestine movement. As nonsensical it may seem, this pro-Palestinian movement claims that it accepts anyone, no matter how they identify.

It may seem that being a Jewish queer person is something that we should be ashamed of. But it should be the opposite. As a community, we should welcome people, regardless of who they are. I am still shocked by how people react when someone comes out and expresses how difficult it may be for them to do so, even resulting in the most fatal of consequences.

It starts at a young age. People love to preach that they are accepting, but when discrimination happens in your own backyard, it’s devastating. I am still shaken by how someone I knew took his own life because he was gay and felt that he wouldn’t be accepted. This is exacerbated by the fact that there are still people who refuse to acknowledge the real reason why he decided to do so.

As a community, we’re so focused on what is happening outside, particularly the situation in Israel, we fail to acknowledge some of the very real problems we have.

People feel like outsiders after revealing something that’s a part of them.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m happy that we don’t believe in conversion therapy like some of our Christian counterparts. But when we ignore the “problem” and hope that it goes away, it can make it worse and lead to bigger issues that can have fatal consequences.

I remember when I was younger, people deriding the mere idea that two women could be dating, and I wondered why they were upset about it. Even today, it seems that it is easier for people to digest for a male to come out as gay, but when it comes to a woman, things are very different. It almost feels as if there are no lesbians in this community, and when there are, they are not entirely comfortable in it.

Thinking back on it now, it shows complete disinterest and apathy towards people who are going through issues with their sexuality. People questioning things can be considered to be going “off the derech” (path), but in most cases, people need to question things to get to answers that make the situation better.

Isn’t that what learning and growing is all about?

It’s all about questioning things to bring you to where you really are.

• Lee Tankle is a 24-year-old junior reporter at the SA Jewish Report. She has a passion for books and all things reading.