JULIE DUEK
A couple were invited to a Shabbos meal at a frum family’s home.
The frum host makes Kiddush Friday night on a full cup of wine. Then he makes a L’Chaim after the fish on some fine Scotch.
Then the main course comes with some more wine. Then they bensch with wine.
Next morning – repeat. They make Kiddush on wine in shul. Have loads of schnapps and food.
They come home. Husband makes Kiddush for the wife with wine, L’Chaim after fish, a nice cold beer with the cholent and more wine for benching.
After Havdallah, the husband phones his children back home and tells them: “I had a wonderful time at the Orthodox family I stayed at this Shabbat” he said.
“I still don’t really understand why they can’t use electricity on Shabbat, but I do know now why you not allowed to drive.”
abu mamzer
Nov 13, 2014 at 1:08 pm
‘
ביין יש אמת
(Old latin saying:In vino veritas)’
Denis Solomons
Dec 2, 2014 at 7:52 am
‘The rabbi is Leaving :
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\nAt the regular Saturday morning service ,the rabbi announced that he was planning to leave for a larger congregation that would pay him more . there is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave because he is so popular.
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\n Fred Shapiro who owns several car dealerships in Venice and Sarasota , stands up and proclaims \” If the rabbi stays , I will provide him with a new Cadillac every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children !\”
\nThe congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.
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\n Saul Cohen, a successful businessman and lawyer , stands and says , \” If the rabbi will stay on here ,I’ll personally double his salary and establish a foundation to guarantee a free college education for his children !\”
\nMore sighs and loud applause.
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\nEstelle Rubin , age 88 ,stands and announces with a smile , \” If the rabbi stays , I will give him sex !\” There is total silence.
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\nThe rabbi, blushing ,asks her ;\”Mrs. Rubin, you’re a wonderful and holy lady . Whatever possessed you to say that ?\” Estelle’s 90-year-old husband, Abe , is now trying to hide , holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies; \”Well, I just asked my husband how we could help , and he said , **** him !\” ‘