Passing the baton of yomtov meal traditions

From the apples, honey, and herring to the vibrant tables and the people in the seats around them, there’s something special about continuing family traditions when hosting yomtov meals. Three women discuss how they’re bringing their Rosh Hashanah memories into the hearts of a new generation. 

Romy Waters has been hosting Rosh Hashanah dinners ever since she got married 13 years ago. “This was almost a given, passed down from my mom’s mom, who used to host Rosh Hashanah previously,” she says. 

“My gran used to make absolutely everything by hand, from mincing the herring and the liver to making her own kichel,” Waters says. While she herself doesn’t make everything by hand, she does make the kichel her grandmother taught her to prepare. 

Waters says that her mother always began preparations long before Rosh Hashanah, a habit that endures today. “My gran used to have her table set immaculately, my mother followed on that tradition and still sets her table about two weeks in advance. That’s one thing I didn’t take on from her,” she laughs, “with me, everything is last minute.” 

Waters has also incorporated her own traditions when taking on hosting duties, involving her children in different aspects of the night and the preparations beforehand. “I try and make it fun for the kids, so I’ll always have some kind of activity on the table, like a craft, associated with the chag. I also try and involve my two young sons, getting them to help me set the table, which they love. My older son loves to make personalised name tags and everyone gets a personalised design.” 

Aside from eating good food, what Waters loves most about hosting yomtov meals is gathering the whole family around the table. “Yomtov does something that no photo album or family tree can do, it makes memories tangible,” she says. “Even recipes are memories with instructions that are being passed down. For example, if a grandchild learns to knead challah the way their grandmother did, their hands are literally learning the shape of generations. It’s one of those times when we still need each other, passing down traditions and spending joyful time together.” 

For Isarae Seeff, hosting lunch on the second day of Rosh Hashanah is about continuing a tradition started by her grandmother. “She used to invite her sister and all her family for lunch too,” she says. “It was always wonderful to be there with my family. When my grandmother moved out of her house, my mom began hosting these lunches. Then later, when my mom moved out of her house, I automatically took over as I was the oldest and I had a house that could facilitate the crowd. I’m still doing it.” 

While not everything is the same these days, as her cousins now have their own extended families and therefore don’t all attend anymore, the spirit of the second-day family lunch lives on. The food may not be the same – with Seeff preparing a milk meal in contrast to the meat one her mother always cooked – but it’s still about tradition. It’s a big second-day lunch with siblings, cousins, extended family, and close friends, she says. “It’s lovely. For me, it’s important as it brings back memories. While I can, I’ll keep doing it.” 

While she’s unsure if her children will continue the tradition, she knows they’ve gained so much from these get-togethers. “My kids know that yomtov time is family time. It’s time to be together, to have people over.” 

Not only has Nadine Green carried family yomtov meal traditions into her home, through her food business, Made by Nade, she brings these to the tables of other community members too. “The aromas that fill my home while I’m cooking bring back so many beautiful memories of yomtavim gone by and anticipation of those to come,” she says. 

“Growing up, most of my yomtavim were spent with my family in the south. It was very special as there was a small Jewish community there and it was a privilege to feel part of it over the holidays. I got to spend time with my cousins and have fond memories of playing in the lounge while the adults sat around the table. The food was always delicious and the atmosphere warm, embracing, and traditional.” She recalls her Uncle Joe’s particular way of cutting the challah, something she still thinks about on Shabbat and yomtov. 

“Today we try to create a warm, fun, and embracing experience for all who join us for the holidays,” she says. “We try to keep everything traditional and ensure that the children are involved and have fun. Exposing children to our traditions is imperative for continuity.” 

When it comes to cooking, Green keeps her food traditional, but with a modern twist. “Food has a remarkable way of bringing people together,” she says. That’s why being able to extend that powerful feeling of unity through cooking yomtov food for multiple families is so special to her. 

“I feel that in some small way I am part of each of their holiday celebrations,” she says. “It’s a wonderful feeling to know that through a meal, I am helping to keep our traditions alive, connecting friends and families to our roots, and passing that on to our children. The knowledge that Jews here and around the world are sharing the same experience and eating the same traditional meals with loved ones brings a wonderful sense of belonging.”