Book shatters silence on mental health crisis

Marion Scher recently released a book titled Men & Mental Health, Shattering the Silence. The SA Jewish Report speaks to her about it.

What drew you to writing a book about men’s mental health?

Over the past 30 years writing books on mental health, including Surfacing, which looked at 11 different people’s mental health issues, and Big Bully, which is about the fact that bullying is often the root of mental health issues, as well as Men & Mental Health – Shattering the Silence, it became apparent that this is a major issue in South Africa.

Why do you believe it’s important to highlight these issues now?

We live in a difficult world with stress and anxiety levels hitting all-time highs. We’re seeing suicide rates, particularly in the case of men, noticeably increasing, so this is a vital message to get out there.

What’s essential for men to know about their mental health?

Perhaps the greatest message is: when is it more than just a bad day? We all have stresses and bad days in our lives, but to understand when you need to get external help or even just someone to talk to is really important. If you have days when you just want to stay in bed or even worse, think that your family and friends would be better off without you around, those are real red flags that you need help.

So many men were brought up to believe that “cowboys don’t cry”, and that psychologists are for sissies. What’s wrong with this belief, and what impact has it had on South African men?

This is at the heart of the problem. Being “manne”. This came up again and again in the book, particularly with the Springbok rugby players I spoke to. From fear of never being chosen for a game, to employees frightened that their bosses or coworkers will think them weak if they know that they have a mental health issue. It’s a stigma we have to work hard to eradicate.

Why is it important for men to speak out about their mental health issues?

I’ve used celebrities to talk about their mental health issues simply because when “normal” South African men see these names, I hope they’ll think that if they can talk about it, why can’t I?

What types of mental health issues are dominant in South African men, and how can they be helped to overcome them?

Depression and anxiety and stress-related illnesses are particularly high on the list. Depending on the severity of the condition, these can be easily treated either with antidepressants or therapy or both. Only a mental health professional can decide this.

Suicide has become a massive and growing problem in South African men. Why?

Again, if depression and anxiety are left untreated, the symptoms will increase to the point where that person will start having suicidal thoughts. With only 10% of the people psychologists and psychiatrists see being men, it creates the problem where men would rather take their own life than see a mental health professional. The other issue is that although many women try to take their own lives, men use more brutal methods such as guns or hanging to do this – and succeed.

How does your book approach this issue, and who is its target audience?

I use real case studies, letting these people plus, of course, mental health professionals, give what I hope will be advice and answers to questions men were afraid to ask. My target audience is men, pure and simple.

Are you going to look at women’s mental health? If so, why?

Yes, I’m already researching it for my next book. There are many areas specific to women that are rarely talked about and need more understanding. These include PMS (pre-menstrual stress); PMDD (pre-menstrual dysmorphic disorder); perinatal and postnatal depression; menopause; hormonal issues; and more.

What are the glaring differences between men’s and women’s mental health issues?

One of the biggest differences is that women are far more likely to discuss it with family members or friends and seek professional help. At the same time, men and family members will often ignore their situation or think they are “just acting up”.

How can we prevent boys from developing issues before they become men?

This is an important topic because that’s when little boys are told to “suck it up”; “be a man”; or “give back what you get”. Boys need to understand that it’s okay to show emotion, that there are people who will listen to you without judging. And that it’s better to talk about these things than bottle them up. They need to see that there’s support when they need it.

What advice can you give wives, friends, girlfriends, and children trying to help men whom they believe have mental health issues?

Whenever I do a book such as this, my hope is that it starts conversations on the topic. Today, with so much information available online, even suggesting links they could look at would help. That way, they can do this in their own time without feeling judged. It’s all about acknowledging and sharing stories, and knowing it’s ok not to be ok!