Sixty-year-old Ra’anana book editor, Naomi Nathan, was on her way to visit a shiva house on 20 September when the unthinkable happened: a bus turned a corner and ran her over, killing her instantly.
This former King David Afrikaans teacher, beloved wife, mother, grandmother, and friend had built a beautiful life in Israel with her husband Mickey and four sons.
Now, her elderly mother in South Africa and people around the world are grieving in the wake of her senseless and sudden passing.
“It’s like a bright light has gone out. We never even got to say goodbye,” says her sister, Ruth Johnson, in Johannesburg. “Why did Hashem let me live and not her?” asks her distraught mother, Rona Milstein, also in Johannesburg, who miraculously survived COVID-19 at the height of the pandemic. “She died on my late husband’s birthday, and on my late mother’s yahrzeit. She loved them both, and I hope she’s with them now.”
Nathan, the eldest of five siblings, was in fact named after Milstein’s late mother, who came from Tzfat. Nathan’s story went full circle as she was an ardent Zionist who chose to live in Israel. All of her sons went to Yeshiva, and served in the army. Her youngest son had his army tekes (welcoming ceremony) at the Kotel in Jerusalem just five days before his mother was killed. “Everyone came to celebrate. That was the last time most of the family saw Naomi,” says Johnson.
Milstein has endured much tragedy – one of her children is mentally handicapped and has needed care her entire life, and she lost her husband to a brain tumour 30 years ago. Still, she managed to raise successful children who in turn raised their own thriving families.
“We grew up in Delmas, Mpumalanga. Naomi and our brother, Lionel, went to high school at King David, staying in the hostel,” says Johnson. “She then did a Bachelor of Arts degree at Wits, majoring in Afrikaans and Biblical Studies. She was especially talented in Afrikaans, and went on to teach it at King David Linksfield. She was incredibly smart and had a talent for languages.”
The Nathans decided to make aliya when their children were young. “She spoke a beautiful Hebrew,” says Milstein. “She worked at Eric Cohen Books, which is a leading publisher in English language teaching materials. She was leaving work when the bus turned the corner, speeding, and hit her. I’m only grateful she didn’t suffer.”
Her four sons have all made their mark, the most well-known being Raphael, known as “DJ Raphi” or “DJ Four Eyez”. All of them are frum. Nathan was enjoying being a grandmother to four grandkids, “and had so much more living to do”, says Johnson. She and her mother describe Nathan as a “matriarch” of the family and wider community. Her home was always open to anyone who needed warmth and nourishment.
“For example, a young man in the community lost both his parents, and she allowed him to sit shiva in her home,” says Johnson. Milstein remembers arriving on a visit and finding soldiers sleeping on every bed and couch as Nathan had said the soldiers in her son’s unit could stay whenever they needed.
Nathan’s son got married in May, and she visited South Africa in February for her mother’s 81st birthday. After so many simchas, the family are in shock at the tragedy that has hit them.
Johnson’s siblings told her the news, which she had to break to her mother. “It’s surreal. We’ve all been in a daze.” She and Lionel (who also lives in Johannesburg) managed to get to Israel in time for the funeral. Their brother, Alan, flew in from London. “Although there was an almost 13-year age difference between us, Naomi and I were very close,” he says. “We chatted often and WhatsApped each other almost daily.
“As a teacher at King David Linksfield, she was loved by her pupils and her colleagues. We always had a wonderful time when we visited her in Ra’anana. Naomi used to take us for long walks on Ahuza Street. Her two favourite shops were Meatland and Roladin.
“We shared the same love for South African chocolates, biscuits, and rusks. Every South African visit ended with a second suitcase of South African goodies. We also loved reading the same genre of books. I always tried to find a book which I knew she would love but hadn’t read yet. It never happened!
“My eldest son, Joshua, spent two weeks in Israel in July. The tour organised an evening in Jerusalem where they could meet their relatives. I gave Naomi the details, and knowing how long and costly the bus and taxi ride would be from Ra’anana to Jerusalem in peak-hour traffic, I said she really didn’t need to stress about getting to Jerusalem. But Naomi, Mickey, and their son, Moshe, travelled to and spent time with Joshua. The happiness on their faces eating pizza in Jerusalem will forever be in my mind. Naomi and Mickey have raised a wonderful family, and Naomi’s legacy is immense.”
“It was one of the biggest funerals in Ra’anana,” says Johnson. “Hundreds of people came, plus hundreds joined online.”
After shiva, the family had to go straight into the high holidays. “I know yom tov is a happy time, but my heart is broken into pieces,” says Milstein. She says the community has been incredibly supportive, and she and her family are grateful for that.
Johnson says she knows the driver of the bus was arrested, “and he’s going to be charged. He was going so fast, I don’t think he even saw her.” This isn’t the first time a South African olah has been killed in a bus accident in Israel. Thirty five-year-old Hayley Varenberg died when the bus she was travelling on crashed in December 2019.
“When it comes to traffic fatalities, Israel is the 20th safest country in the world, with 4.2 deaths for every 100 000 inhabitants,” says Telfed Chief Executive Dorron Kline. “This is ahead of Australia, Canada, and South Africa. Nevertheless, every death is a tragedy, and a life lost is a world lost. Israel must aim to reach Hong Kong’s statistics of 1.3 deaths per 100 000 inhabitants – the lowest in the world.”
Kline says “Naomi was a beloved and active member of the South African community in Ra’anana. Her son, Raphi, participated in the Telfed scholarship programme during his university studies. Telfed volunteers are in regular contact with the family.”
Milstein usually spoke to her daughter every Sunday and Wednesday. The Sunday before the accident, she ended their chat with, “Speak to you on Wednesday.” But that phone call never came, as her daughter was killed on a Tuesday evening.
Nathan’s love of Afrikaans persisted, and whenever she visited South Africa, she would ask her mother to buy her a copy of Huisgenoot. “I still have the two copies from when she visited,” says Milstein tearfully. “When she was here we had to make appointments – there were so many people who wanted to see her!”
Milstein spent 28 years working at Sandringham Gardens. But even after witnessing many people pass away, nothing could have prepared her for the loss of her own daughter. “I remember all the faces of the elderly people who died. Now I have to remember my daughter’s young, beautiful face. We’ll always think of her with great love in our hearts.”
