From Herzlia, with love
For many Cape Town Jewish couples, United Herzlia Schools (UHS) was not only where they got their primary education, but the place they met their bashert (soulmate).
As Herzlia celebrates its 80th anniversary this year, it can look back on being the launchpad for many relationships that started as strong friendships, be it on the playground, in the hallways, or at the matric dance.
Most alumni who became couples were in the same year at school, and say that the time together at Herzlia has given their union an unshakeable foundation. Many now have children in the Herzlia system, so the school is an integral part of their story, from generation to generation.
Matthew Gruzd is chairperson of UHS – the culmination of a long history with the school for him and his wife, Carri (née Sennett), who is also a lay leader at the school.
Describing their relationship as one of “childhood sweethearts”, Gruzd says, “Carri and I met at the start of what was then Standard 6. It was my first year at Herzlia, having moved to Cape Town from Johannesburg. We were in the same year and matriculated in 1996, During our school years, we were the best and worst of friends – typical adolescents, with long nights on the phone. We briefly dated at school, and started dating seriously in our first year of university.
“In spite of our relationship becoming more formal at university, we had loved one another for a lot longer.” They got married in 2005, and live in Cape Town with their two children who are both at Herzlia Weizmann.
Going to school together gave their relationship a strong foundation because, “our friendship allowed us to develop a profound understanding of each other”.
Asked if he thinks the Jewish education they received at Herzlia has given him and his wife a similar outlook, he responds, “There’s no question [about this]. While at school, we had no idea how valuable our Jewish education would be in terms of how we live, where we live, and the life choices we make regarding our family.”
Many people feel Cape Town is too small to meet a Jewish partner, but Gruzd says, “You only need ‘the one’ – be vulnerable, and take a risk. Cape Town has great people. If you do find someone from outside, make sure to bring them back to Cape Town and grow our community.”
The Gruzds say that the most important values in a relationship are, “Always be honest, even when it’s hard, love fiercely, and be kind to each other, and never take today for granted – it’s a gift, and we don’t know what tomorrow will bring.”
The couple emphasises that, “Herzlia has given us and our children so much. It’s a massive part of our community, and like a loved one, can make us laugh and cry. Herzlia wouldn’t be much without our community and conversely, our community wouldn’t be much without Herzlia.”
Abigail Smith says that she and her now-husband, Ryan Epstein, “Were best friends from the end of Standard 3. Ryan was at Herzlia Highlands, and I was at Herzlia Weizmann. We met on Clifton 4th beach. We connected immediately, and spent the rest of school as close friends.” They both matriculated in 1999.
It was only when they were students that the realised they were in love. “We started dating at university at the end of our second year. We spent so much time together at university and shared and enjoyed doing the same things. One day we realised that we were in love and wanted to be together,” recalls Smith. The couple got married in 2010, and live in Cape Town with their son who is at Herzlia Alon Ashel.
Asked if they feel that going to school together gave their relationship a strong foundation, Smith says, “Definitely. We still laugh until we cry about funny things that happened at school or at machaneh [camp]. We didn’t just go to school together – we were best friends at school. Sports tours, Judaica club, projects, school plays. Our childhood and teen years happened together, so we have shared memories and silly private jokes that are still going 20 years on. We both loved school, and loved our time at Herzlia. We took everything we could from our time at school.”
The couple are still close to many of their peers from their Herzlia days. “It’s amazing, we have a massive, beautiful group of friends from school. We are close, and so are our kids.”
Lori Joffe (née Berelowitz) clearly remembers meeting her now-husband, Dean, when they both arrived at Herzlia Middle School. They were friends from then on, and decided to go to their matric dance together in 2004. Just two weeks later, they began their relationship. “We’ve been inseparable ever since,” says Lori. “I would definitely say we were high-school sweethearts.” They were married in 2016, and live in Cape Town with their one-year-old son.
Going to school together “gives you a history of your partner that you might not otherwise have if you met later in life”, they say. They retain a large group of school friends, some of which they have been close to for more than 20 years, and who are g-dparents to their son.
Dean says his time at Herzlia was fundamental to where he is today. “Herzlia helped me to develop my career. The school gave me the ability to learn in my field of audiovisual technology, and invested in that. I wouldn’t be in the position I’m in today if it wasn’t for Herzlia.”
The couple say that to them, the most important values in a relationship are, “Communication, respect, trust, sharing responsibility, helping each other out, and showing gratitude.”
Zaka honoured for bravery in Bank of Lisbon inferno
Jewish rescue and recovery organisation Zaka SA has been awarded a medal of bravery by the Gauteng province for its assistance with the fire in the Bank of Lisbon building in the Johannesburg CBD more than two years ago.
Zaka SA was honoured on International Firefighters Day on 4 May, a day in which the City of Joburg remembered all firefighters who had “courageously put others’ lives before their own, saluting them for their selfless dedication and bravery”.
Three firefighters lost their lives in the blaze, one plunging to his death on the pavement below, after trying to put out the fire near the top of the high-rise building. The building was subsequently found to be only minimally compliant with health and safety regulations, and firefighters faced a lack of water and oxygen. It has since been demolished.
Zaka SA “rescued the rescuers” by offering psychological support to devastated and exhausted city firefighters, and food for 100 firefighters, with the assistance of the South African Jewish Board of Deputies (SAJBD).
However, when they reached the scene, Zaka and the SAJBD discovered that 700 students housed in a building next door needed to be evacuated for fear of smoke inhalation, and more food was urgently required to feed them. Zaka was honoured for assisting with the evacuation of these students, and for providing necessary relief.
“Bank of Lisbon was a complicated story,” said Daniel Forman, the head of Zaka SA. “There was a vacuum of resources including water availability, and we encountered a challenging scene as the three firefighters lost their lives soon into the crisis but firefighters had to continue to fight the fire. The biggest challenge was that the fire was so high up in the building, so firefighters had to preserve their oxygen supplies going up.”
Zaka SA was set up in 2015 to assist the community with emergency search and rescue, body identification and recovery, and fire-containment services. Like Zaka around the world, it’s entirely staffed by volunteers, and relies on communal support to keep going.
It has two trailers which each hold 600 litres of water, and is often the first responder in suburban fires, where early detection and response can eliminate the need to call city firefighters. However, Forman cautions that 600 litres is used up in just seven minutes, and a house can burn down in minutes, making additional resources mandatory.
Zaka is sometimes called on to fight more than six fires a month, he said, particularly in the winter months when people rely on heating devices in their homes, and fires are lit by the homeless and security guards to keep warm.
“Zaka’s fire-containment unit came about through challenges which exist in the system,” Forman said, “including the long wait for firefighters.” Another of these challenges is theft of brass parts from neighbourhood fire hydrants, rendering them ineffective.
However, he stressed that the City of Joburg had been involved in a major upgrade of these hydrants, and was amazingly supportive of Zaka generally. He praised the Gauteng government for exposing the organisation’s communal efforts.
“Not once have they not responded to our call or thanked us for our help,” he said of Joburg’s firefighters. “They do an amazing job.”
Yummy Shavuot from Yaddies
Seven hundred families in financial difficulty in the community can now enjoy Shavuot treats including cheesecake, mac n cheese, and pizza thanks to generous monetary and food donations from the community, Jewish schools, and the Rabbi Kraines Chessed Challenge (RKCC).
Their generosity made it possible for Yad Aharon to distribute these special treats, as well as healthy, nutritious food, to community members to make sure that they also have a joyful chag.
RKCC is an initiative which has challenged the community to maximise acts of good deeds and loving kindness during the 49 days of the Omer.
The initiative was formed in honour of Rabbi Kraines (zt”l), whose untimely passing left a void in the Johannesburg community. It celebrates the legacy of a man who was known to be a champion of the mitzvah of chessed.
In addition to the RKCC, Yad Aharon’s Shavuot drive has involved more than 20 Jewish schools as well as local and international donors who realise the importance it plays in alleviating nutritional insecurity in the community.
- To contribute towards the Shavuot drive, visit www.yadaharon.co.za
A portrait of PE through a life of service
As Port Elizabeth community stalwart Isaac Rubin reflects on his 90th year, his life story emerges as a portrait of this once thriving, now diminishing, but always impactful, Jewish centre of life.
Having offered decades of service as head of the Chevrah Kadisha and the Jewish Benevolent Society, as well as a vice-chairperson and member of the Port Elizabeth Hebrew Congregation Council and serving as its choirmaster, Rubin has lived a life firmly entrenched in service. His has been a contribution that has helped ensure that Jewish tradition continues to be fulfilled in this small seaside town.
“My best saying is, ‘Zeh hayom asah adonai, nagila v’nismicha bo.’ (This is the day that G-d created; let us be happy and rejoice in it.) To rejoice and be happy, you have to have your health, financial resources, a partner, a family.”
He hopes that he has been able to assist in making this a little more of a reality for those around him.
“It’s a blessing that Hashem has given me, to have the strength to do mitzvot,” he says.
The history of Port Elizabeth can be traced back to a group of at least 16 Jewish families that came with the 1820 British settlers. Later, a wave of German immigrants also arrived. Rubin’s family, from the town of Ludza in Latvia, were part of a wave of Eastern European Jews fleeing pogroms and antisemitism in the latter part of the century into the 1900s. His uncle came first, followed by his father. Later, his mother and oldest brother, Solly, arrived – both speaking only Yiddish.
Rubin, born in 1931, was one of four siblings born in Port Elizabeth itself. Building a life in this foreign country was difficult for the family especially as they hit the Depression years; yet his parents, both tailors, persisted throughout.
When it came to Rubin’s first day of school, he remembers how his father couldn’t come because of work and his mother because she didn’t speak English. A friend came with to help settle him in.
During the war years, he recalls having bomb drills at school where “we had to duck under our desk and put a cork between our teeth in order to prevent our jaw breaking in the event of an explosion”.
Rubin also attended cheder from the age of eight until matric. He was inspired by his studies there to complete Hebrew as a matric subject at school.
His family, in spite of financial struggles, persisted in maintaining cultural traditions. “Hard as it was, every Rosh Hashanah, we would get a new suit of short pants and a jacket. My father would close the shop on all major Jewish holidays, and we would go to shul. We kept a kosher home.”
Community life flourished in these years, with a Jewish population of about 5 000 people. “I was a troop leader in the Jewish Boy Scouts in the 1940s,” Rubin says. Always a keen sportsman, he established a Maccabi Jewish cricket club in the city which eventually had so many members, it played across three leagues. He also played in Port Elizabeth’s Jewish rugby team.
Rubin remembers some antisemitism at one school he attended – where the Jewish children were called “porkers”. Yet, he recalls proudly how when his own grandson attended the same school decades later, the outcome of such provocation was very different.
“My grandson’s teacher made a remark about how ‘you must look after your money, and be like the Jews’, and my grandson went straight to the teacher and said, ‘You aren’t allowed to say that.’” A meeting was held with the principal and family, and the teacher had to make a formal apology.
Meanwhile, after his own schooling, Rubin went on to become a pharmacist and travelled around the world, working at one time at a catering facility for the American army in the Arctic Circle. “I had a contract as a dish washer, and graduated to become a waiter,” he laughs.
Later, he married and settled back in Port Elizabeth with his wife, Shirley. They had a daughter who sadly died at age 37, as well as two sons and four grandchildren. Rubin opened his own pharmacy and his one son has followed in his career. Although Rubin retired at 67, he went back to work part-time 12 years ago.
Once a keen runner who completed 11 Comrades and 11 Two Oceans marathons, Rubin swims in the sea, does yoga, and walks. Both he and his wife are keen bridge players. Over the years, he also volunteered for Lifeline and Hospice. Yet, even this wasn’t enough for Rubin – at the age of 72, he decided to improve his musicality, and learnt to play the piano.
Always a committed member of the synagogue, over the years, he became increasingly active in communal leadership. Twenty years ago he became a member of the council of the Port Elizabeth Hebrew Congregation and then adopted his roles in the Chevrah Kadisha, Benevolent Society, and shul choir.
His love of liturgical singing stems from his father who also loved Jewish and Yiddish songs, and would “sing softly”.
Rubin decided to join the Chevrah Kadisha “when I saw what it had done for my mother, father, and daughter” on their passing. In his role, Rubin would respond to calls night and day, going to the homes of the deceased, comforting the mourners, and organising all the logistics of burials. It was only at the age of 80 that he stopped even helping to dig the graves.
Earlier this year, Rubin stepped down as chairperson, although the organisation then elected to appoint him honorary chair for life.
Gidon La Grange, his successor to the position, recounts once being with Rubin when a call came through from a family who had tragically lost a loved one. “He couldn’t speak. For at least three minutes, he just sat. Silent. He took out his hanky, and wiped tears.” They then began discussing the practical arrangements.
“I remember thinking, this is the quality you should have in responding to people’s loss. This compassion is the way he deals with everybody. The whole community loves him because he carries everything close to his heart.”
Rubin stills heads up the shul choir and the Port Elizabeth Jewish Benevolent Society, whose role is to ensure that the basic needs of all members of the community are met. Although the community has shrunk drastically, its needs have increased.
While Rubin laments the diminishing numbers in the community – the Port Elizabeth Hebrew Congregation now has 182 members – he says the community can hold its head up high. “We have a community that we can be proud of – we’ve upheld our yiddishkeit throughout.”
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