Israeli women lead battle for stability and recovery

“Women are the heart of the home and the strength of society. When they rise, so does the world around them,” says Adi Hendel, the clinical manager of the Family and Couples Therapy Unit at the Ashkelon Resilience Center in Israel.

In light of International Women’s Day on 8 March, we spoke to some extraordinary women in Israel and beyond who have led the way during one of the most challenging times in recent history.

In Israel, women have become the backbone of their communities, offering stability and strength in visible and unseen ways. “Since the 7 October attacks, women have emerged as fierce advocates, with mothers and wives leading the charge to bring the hostages home,” Hendel says.

“Israeli women are involved in every effort during this crisis,” says Ayelet Shmuel, the director of the International Resilience Institute in Sderot. “Our strength lies in our unity.” From organising volunteer networks to managing emergency shelters for displaced families, women have been pivotal in keeping their communities intact.

While men serve on the frontlines, women lead on equally vital battlegrounds – in homes and communities. “In the immediate aftermath of 7 October, women formed volunteer networks, cooking for displaced families, babysitting children, and offering comfort to those in need,” Hendel says. “At resilience centres across the country, therapists – mostly women – braved rocket fire to provide psychological first aid, preventing further devastation and post-traumatic stress disorder.” Hendel, was among them despite having four young children at home.

In Sderot, women played an instrumental role in managing a community in shock. “Emergency teams, many led by women, took charge of running hotels for evacuees, handling everything from basic needs to trauma support,” Shmuel says.

“There’s something in the experience of being soldiers ourselves and then the mothers and wives of soldiers that profoundly changes the DNA of a society. It plays a big role in shaping resilience.” Shmuel says, “because we understand it from both sides”.

Trauma affects men and women differently. While men returning from combat struggle with reintegration, women carry the emotional weight of holding their families together. Many Israeli mothers today face exhaustion, guilt, and an overwhelming need to remain strong for those around them.

“Women believe they must do it all – have a career, raise children, be a good wife,” Hendel says. “Now, the most important lesson we’re teaching them is to let go.” Therapists urge women to care for themselves first, as their emotional well-being is the anchor of the household. Yet, this is easier said than done.

Both men and women carry immense guilt, asking, “Could I have done more? Should I have reacted differently? Could I have protected my children better?” These unresolved emotions often lead to burnout and depression. Mothers in war zones aren’t just responsible for their children’s immediate safety but for helping them to process trauma. “In therapy, many children now exhibit heightened anxiety, bed-wetting, stuttering, and school refusal,” Hendel says. “In adults, we’re seeing a rise in depression, addiction, and marital conflict, with separation and divorce rates on the rise.”

Despite these challenges, Israeli women continue to transform trauma into resilience. “It’s all about the narrative – the story you tell yourself and the meaning you assign to everything you do,” Shmuel says. “We’re in the midst of a terrible crisis, but we’ll emerge from it. By connecting to something greater and channelling our anger, anxiety, and grief into meaningful action, that’s what makes all the difference.”

Shmuel also emphasises the importance of perspective. “Some people say, ‘It’s been 16 months, and we’re still seeing the same things in Gaza.’ No, we’re not! We’re in a different place. We’re creating innovation in mental health, forming new nongovernmental organisations, mobilising volunteers. It’s about the narrative – are you a victim, or are you victorious?”

Before 7 October, Israel had five resilience centres. Today, that number has tripled to 15, giving critical psychological support to affected families. These centres offer therapies such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy; Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing; and the innovative “This Child is Me” approach, which helps entire families process trauma together.

However, the demand for mental health services is overwhelming. “Many of our therapists live in the affected areas and have experienced personal trauma themselves,” says a senior resilience centre therapist. “But it’s our obligation to hold hope for others.” Despite rising depression and burnout, mental health professionals continue their work, driven by a commitment to healing their communities.

Faith and community have played a crucial role in the healing process. In a remarkable display of unity, the underlying tension between religious and secular women has diminished. “Haredi women have been cooking for the wives of soldiers fighting in Gaza,” Hendel says. “It’s often difficult for women in general to accept help, but we’re learning the balance of give and take.”

The trauma of 7 October has also brought to the surface the pain of past horrors. “If my grandmother survived Auschwitz and I’m here today with a beautiful family, a great career, and a fulfilling life, it gives me hope,” Hendel says. “It reminds many of us that G-d always has a plan. Leaning into faith and spirituality during this time gives us the strength to believe in that plan and in the possibility of healing and renewal.”

Jewish communities worldwide share a sense of purpose, prioritising family, meaningful connections, and the values of tikkun olam (healing the world). “Women in Israel and globally understand how important it is to be part of something bigger in order to remain resilient,” Shmuel says. “Taking on a meaningful role strengthens individual and collective resilience, especially in times of crisis. This has been evident in Jewish communities across the world. People in the diaspora have rallied to support Israel, volunteering and offering help in ways that extend beyond their own lives. This connection and sense of purpose makes all the difference.”