Ruth Beinart has a choice phrase that describes the devastating year she has faced since her only child and partner died tragically last year within weeks of each other. It’s not exactly one she bandies about, and it’s certainly not printable. Safe to say she has been to hell and back a few times.
Her beloved son, Dylan, 18, was a sickly child. He received a liver transplant when he was 14, and had recently undergone an operation to remove his colon. But the witty and determined King David Victory Park teenager was safely on the mend, and had so much to look forward to.
Sadly, out of the blue, he contracted measles, and succumbed to the disease a few days later. This happened in March last year at the outbreak of the COVID-19 pandemic in the country.
Nine weeks later, Ruth’s loving partner, Glen Heyns, 55, an energetic and healthy man, died unexpectedly from what is assumed was a heart attack in the middle of the night. She was left bereft and in turmoil.
With her small Clamber Club business in tatters because of the effects of lockdown and the double whammy of not benefiting from her partner’s income, things were bleak.
Were it not for the support of the community, family, and friends, she says she doesn’t know how she would have pulled through.
“What can I say, I’m living the dream,” she responds with her usual dark sense of humour, something her late son inherited from her.
“There are no words to describe what I’ve been through. It’s surreal.”
“I’ve been grieving for the two people closest to me at the same time, two very different kinds of grief. It’s like I first lost my left arm and then I lost my right arm. I may have two legs and can walk, but I don’t know how to do stuff anymore without my arms,” she told the SA Jewish Report this week.
Although she’s a positive person, she says, “I cry every day. It just depends on the time of day.”
Her Rabbi, Pini Pink, of Chabad of Greenstone, is attempting to spread some light and honour her son’s memory. Marking the teenager’s first yahrzeit last week, he launched an initiative to raise funds to purchase a Sefer Torah in Dylan’s memory, calling it the Dylan Beinart Memorial Torah.
The Sefer Torah will cost in excess of R500 000, but the rabbi is optimistic they will reach their target to acquire the best quality Torah that will be “an everlasting way” to remember this “special child whose life was cut short too soon”.
“Last week, the shul put out a message alerting its members when Dylan’s father wanted to say kaddish for his late son marking a year since his passing. We were worried about getting a minyan because of COVID-19, but were amazed to see so many people arrive to show their love and support. The parking lot was full,” Pink says.
According to Ruth, her son had a close bond with the rabbi, and would be quite vocal during his sermons. He even took to wearing the rabbi’s hat from time to time.
“Dylan was a special and fond member of our community,” says the rabbi. “He was loved by everybody. He added so much character to the shul, and from the moment he walked into a room, he would change the dynamics for good.
“His tragic passing has taken its toll on our community. We were looking for ways to honour his memory and together with the family, we spoke about various ideas,” Pink says.
They wanted a “forever tribute”, not something that would lose momentum over time.
“Our shul needs a Sefer Torah and in this way, Dylan will be remembered every time it’s used on Shabbos and festivals. It will be a beautiful tribute and bring comfort to his soul,” Pink says.
Ruth says she is touched by this idea, and hopes the Torah will travel so that it can be used for a number of simchas.
“It’s a lovely idea, and I’m grateful for it. When we eventually get it, we will personalise the cover with something that will remind us of Dylan’s quirky, fun nature,” Ruth says.
She says she has managed to pick up some of the financial pieces with the re-opening of schools, and has offered private Clamber Club sessions for moms who enjoy the respite, especially when their little ones aren’t at school or are online.
She’s happy that business is picking up again, and grateful to the community for all the support.
