Muslim-Jewish friendships: Reaching across the great divide

TALI FEINBERG

“I have a number of outstanding friendships with members of the Muslim community, and I believe that Jews and Muslims in South Africa can show how these two communities can live peacefully together,” says Cape Union Mart CEO Philip Krawitz. “Bringing the battles of the Middle East to our shores only deepens the chasm.”

He says he always aims to get to know someone on a one-to-one basis. “Typecasting people is the absolute worst thing. To say: ‘All Muslims are bad; all Muslims are ISIS’ is disgusting and not what we as Jews should be promoting,” says Krawitz.

One strong connection is his friendship with former Western Cape premier Ebrahim Rasool which has endured despite the ups and downs of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. “If we have an issue, we meet up and talk about it. I have also been his guest at Eid al-Fitr, the holiest day of the Muslim calendar.”

Another friend of Krawitz is Sharief Jaffer. Their friendship began when Jaffer worked for Krawitz, and even though that was 25 years ago, “he always calls me every Yom Tov”.

A third friend, Allie Gierdien, who recently passed away, used to joke with Krawitz that if it was up to them, they would have solved the Middle East crisis long ago.

“We live in a diverse society and it behoves us to build relationships beyond our comfort zones,” explains Krawitz. “Hatred gets us nowhere – we need to reach out as human beings and find commonalities.”

From business relationships to the everyday exchanges between neighbours, this message is demonstrated by ordinary South Africans. “My neighbour is a staunch Muslim. She and I are trusty neighbours and friends,” explains a Jewish woman in Johannesburg who prefers to speak anonymously, as she has not asked her neighbour for permission.

“Her kids come to play at my flat and she trusts me, as I trust her. If she is away and she wants to get a treat for her husband, she knows that I’ll get something Halaal for him if she asks. She sends me food and cake all the time, and sometimes I fetch her kids from religious school. Once I was going to go to Saudi Arabia for business and she loaned me her best abayas (robes). Another neighbour is a Christian Eritrean; we are all friends,” she says.

The two do not discuss religion or Israel. “At one time her WhatsApp picture was a pro-Palestinian one, but then she changed it. She admitted that when she moved in, she had some concerns about me being Jewish,” she says, but their friendship has proven otherwise.

Nazeem Mohammed, a textile retailer, attended Herzlia for most of his school career and matriculated there. “I wasn’t happy at my other school and Herzlia offered an excellent education,” says Mohammed, adding that most of his siblings attended as well.

For him, being a Muslim at a Jewish school was never a problem – he was happy to learn Hebrew and Jewish studies, and he never faced a backlash from his Jewish peers or his own community.

He has remained in contact with school friends and works with many of their parents in the textile trade. “Jews and Muslims in Cape Town have always got on well, all the way back to our days in District Six. We have our own problems in South Africa and need to focus on those, instead of the Middle East conflict,” he says.

When Lara Berman separated from her husband and was taking care of her two young children on her own, her parents wanted her to employ a housekeeper. Enter Shariefa Fredericks. “She is from a devout Muslim family. She came to live with us and landed up taking care of all of us, including me,” says Berman.

When the housekeeper first started working for Berman, she faced anger in her Muslim community, but Shariefa explained to them that Jews aren’t bad and that boycotts and hatred only do harm. Her community now accepts her explanation.

“We are very similar – we have the same outlook on bringing up children and the same family values,” says Berman. “The community also helps each other.”

Indeed, when Berman’s son was involved in an accident in 2013, it was Shariefa who took charge; and when the housekeeper’s family faced hardships, Berman stepped in to help. The two families are so close that they now see each other as family.

When Berman’s mother moved into the Jewish retirement home, Highlands House, Shariefa’s son, Waleed Salie, built shelves for the room and Berman even bequeathed a Persian carpet that belonged to her grandfather to him. “I know my grandfather would have been happy to see it go to a family that has helped me so much,” she says.

Abdul Joudi from Syria settled in Cape Town 10 years ago, and his upmarket hair salon in Cape Town draws Jewish clients from across the Peninsula. “I was never taught that Jews are bad, so it’s never been an issue,” says Joudi.

“In fact, we have such a similar culture that we get along really well.”

He enjoys seeing clients’ photos from holidays in Israel, and hearing about their experiences there. His parents came to Cape Town as refugees some years ago. The whole family helps in the business.

Even small moments can create strong connections and remove preconceived stereotypes. “During Orientation Week at the University of Cape Town, a ‘frum’ Muslim guy came over to me because people told him I was a rabbi and he had so many questions about Judaism,” shares Rabbi Nissen Goldman, who runs Chabad on Campus.

“He said he’d never spoken to a Jew about Judaism before. We sat on the steps of Jameson Hall for an hour, just realising how much we do that is so similar.

“From mikvah in the morning to praying, from washing hands before using the bathroom and saying a blessing thereafter to putting our right shoe on first, it was quite a beautiful bonding experience. I think he was a bit thrown off by the fact that we don’t seek to make everyone Jewish and that it’s okay – and, in fact, the divine plan – for there to be many ways of worship, as long as you worship the One G-d. We hugged as we said goodbye.”

Darren Rozman, a plumber from Cape Town, employs three Muslim workers. “We all get along brilliantly as both colleagues and friends,” says Rozman.

His journey to this point started when he made aliyah and joined the Israeli Defence Forces. He was shocked to find that his commander was an Arab Israeli Muslim. It was this experience that broke down his preconceived ideas that “all Muslims are bad”. So, when he returned to Cape Town and started his business, he was happy to employ Muslim workers.

“We laugh together, work together and even see each other on weekends,” says Rozman. “They just want to live their lives and provide for their families; they don’t worry about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.”

Rozman has met their families, and just like in the Jewish community, “everyone knows everyone”. The similarities in background make their friendship an effortless one, and if religion comes up, they chat or laugh about it. Ultimately, he concludes, “we see each other as human beings”.