Grieving family uses son’s death to unite the nation

First Sergeant Netanel Pessach, the son of an ex-South African, was killed in combat in Gaza in December. His family’s call for unity has sparked acts of reconciliation far and wide.

Netanel, 21, died on 23 December while serving in the Kfir Brigade of the Israel Defense Forces. Netanel, alongside his comrades Hillel Diner and Ilay Atedgi, was killed in Beit Hanoun, Gaza, by an explosive device planted by Hamas terrorists.

A quiet, determined young man, Netanel’s story reflects a sense of duty rooted in a rich heritage with a profound connection between Israel and South Africa.

His father, Elad Pessach, 56, was raised in Cape Town, shared the immeasurable pain of losing his son. “It’s impossible to answer how I’m feeling,” he told the SA Jewish Report. “I have my ups and downs. I have to be strong for my other seven children and my wife, therefore, I need to get up and go to work. I can’t stay home all day and be down. Life goes on. I have to believe that my son died for a reason. We have to believe that it wasn’t in vain.”

Elad, who matriculated at Yeshiva College in Johannesburg, made aliya at the age of 24 in 1992. He said he had long dreamed of showing his birthplace to his Israeli wife, Revital, and their children.

He described the difficult reality of living in an Israel at war. “We’re in a war zone. It might not be in our neighbourhood, but it’s there. You’re reminded of it every day. Since my son died, another 19 soldiers have been killed. In our community, there are 750 families, and eight people lost their lives since 7 October, including one who was at the Nova festival and many soldiers have been injured. These are trying times, but life goes on.”

Despite their grief, the Pessach family has chosen to focus on Netanel’s legacy of kindness and unity. His death, though devastating, is a reminder of the sacrifices made by those who serve to protect their country.

Netanel was the fourth of eight children, growing up in the close-knit frum community of Elazar, in Gush Etzion. Known for his quiet nature and sensitivity, he preferred to work behind the scenes, ensuring that everything he did was done with care and excellence. “He wasn’t a man of many words,” said Elad, “but he always worked quietly and made sure he did everything to the best of his ability.”

His family continues to uncover stories of his kindness, which Netanel never sought to publicise. “He volunteered in hospital wards, bringing smiles and comfort to patients, and accepted people from all walks of life without judgement,” said Elad.

At his military funeral, which was attended by hundreds of mourners, Netanel’s mother shared a heartfelt request, saying, “He believed in what he was doing by joining the army. He believed that this was what needed to be done, that we fight even when it’s hard and even when we’re a little afraid, because our people need us here.”

Revital asked that in memory of her son, people work for greater unity. “I ask that every person in the nation of Israel stops for five minutes, closes their eyes, and thinks about someone they aren’t at peace with. Simply call them and say, ‘In memory of an Israeli hero, Netanel Pessach, I’m willing to take one small step, remove one barrier, and give a hug.’”

Her words have resonated far beyond the funeral, inspiring countless individuals to mend fractured relationships and embrace the values of kindness and unity that Netanel embodied, Elad said.

“Since my wife shared her request, we’ve heard many incredible stories of people reaching out to mend broken relationships. A friend of mine who hadn’t spoken to his sister for years due to their political differences, reached out to her, and they’ve agreed to meet. It’s deeply moving to see how Netanel’s legacy is inspiring acts of reconciliation and unity.”

Netanel’s final mission was in Gaza, searching for Israeli hostages who remain in captivity.

The Gush Etzion Regional Council mourned Netanel’s death, expressing its condolences to his parents, siblings, and the entire community of Elazar, and the Pessach family has received an outpouring of support and condolences from around the world.

Elad emphasised the importance of carrying forward Netanel’s legacy. “He’s the product of the old South African, no-excuse Zionist upbringing. He was a serious kid, did everything until the end, no excuses. He accepted everyone without discrimination.”

Revital’s plea continues to inspire others. “Netanel didn’t live unity just as a slogan like, ‘Let’s be united.’ For him, it was simple and clear. He never said a bad word about anyone. His light needs to continue in the world.”

His story serves as a reminder of the ties that bind Israel and South Africa. Netanel may have lived and died far from the land of his father’s birth, but his legacy will be cherished on both continents.