Shrinking networks leave Jewish 20-somethings isolated

In a small community like South Africa’s, you’d imagine that Jewish 20-somethings would easily find one another. Yet for many young adults, the opposite is true. 

Once school, youth movements, and university fades into the background, meeting other Jews becomes surprisingly difficult, and, for some, deeply isolating. 

Part of the challenge is that the community’s traditional “meeting points” – youth movements; university socials through the South African Union of Jewish Students; even shul-based young adult groups – don’t appeal to 20-somethings, mainly because they are too old for them. 

“Once I finished varsity, I felt that there was nowhere really to go to meet new people, so if you didn’t already have an established group of friends, you were kind of stuck with no-one,” said one anonymous 25-year-old woman. 

She said that even when she tried going to events that were held through organisations like Aish20s, it could be difficult to make friends, as many people went with a set group of friends. 

Paul Bacher, who runs Wholesome Spaces, a community organisation set up for people in their 30s and above to meet people, said he had many 20-somethings come to him saying that it was becoming increasingly difficult to meet people. 

The challenge isn’t unique to South Africa, he said. Young Jews worldwide are struggling to meet one another in natural, meaningful ways as social patterns shift and communities become more dispersed. In South Africa, he said, it’s even more difficult – a shrinking Jewish population means a smaller pool of peers and fewer opportunities to connect. 

“Traditionally, young Jews here tend to meet each other at university or through Jewish youth movements and camps like Bnei Akiva. Once they leave those environments, the structured social frameworks fall away, and it becomes harder to meet new people organically and comfortably,” he said. “Many young adults have told me that they feel this quite deeply, especially those who want to build strong Jewish friendships or who are hoping to meet a partner within the community.” 

Over the years, there have been attempts to try to create a platform for young Jewish people to meet in a casual setting. In 2023, a group of 20-somethings saw that there was nowhere for people their age to meet new friends, so they decided to create Gather, an organisation that would organise monthly events to bring people together and allow them to meet people outside of their circle. 

“For young Jews in their 20s, it’s been difficult to find spaces to genuinely meet and connect. Most options were either club or party-style events – loud music, crowded rooms, and no real chance for meaningful conversation, or they were strictly religious, like shiurim or shul-based gatherings,” said Jessica Katz, one of the founders of Gather. 

“We wanted to offer something different: fun, social events without a religious undertone and without the overwhelming noise. That’s why we’ve hosted activities like a bowling pool at Xtreme Bowling; pizza-making at Michelos; and a board-games day at Urban Grind – relaxed environments where people can actually talk, hear each other, and form real connections.” 

She said Gather’s first event was a quiz night at Tiger’s Milk, but seeing that not many people could eat the food there, they thought it would be best if they moved it to kosher establishments so that everyone could be included. 

“Some people found it a bit boring. It was difficult to make everyone happy. And then, as the events went by, the numbers dwindled a bit,” said Katz. 

The greatest difficulty with Gather was the fact that some people were coming to events with the sole intention of meeting a romantic partner, which would make a lot of the young women feel uncomfortable, stopping them from coming to events. 

“Some people started coming to events not to make friends, but using it as a matchmaking organisation, and it made girls feel uncomfortable, which isn’t what we intended,” said Katz. 

In Cape Town, however, there seems to be a booming social scene with two separate organisations created so that 20-somethings can make more Jewish friends. 

The first is the Gardens Shul Young Jewish Professional Network, run by Dovi Levin. It was initially set up to bring young people to shul for events such as their Friday Night Live, a monthly Shabbat service and social event, Levin said. However, it has grown into something offering padel and similar events that don’t happen in a religious setting. 

Levin said he realised that there was nowhere for people to meet other Jewish people organically. 

“We’re building something collectively, and now Cape Town really has everything. It has the run clubs, the tennis clubs, but really, the thing which was missing was [something for] Jewish people between those ages. That’s what we’re building together. People are taking part, actively wanting to start something and do something special and feel part of it,” he said. 

Steven Liptz said that he noticed that there was no place for young Jews to meet so he decided to launch ELEVATE, a platform for meaningful connection, learning, and inspiration, in March 2025. 

“The local shuls and rabbis have a lot of responsibility and they do a great job, but there was a gap,” he said. “Jewish Cape Town is at a crossroads, with real opportunities to influence what the next chapter looks like. ELEVATE can assist with this.” 

ELEVATE has hosted everyone from top rabbinical speakers and leaders, to former Israeli hostages, to an event with Aleeza Ben Shalom of Netflix fame, in collaboration with the Matchmakers Network. 

“The response to our events has been fantastic, and as more people hear about them, I believe the interest will continue to grow. Young people are powerful and influential,” said Liptz. 

While this may be working in Cape Town, there’s still an unmet need in Johannesburg. 

“We see the need for more opportunities to be created for people to connect, not necessarily like a dating thing, but for connections in general,” said Katz. “So, making friends, maybe business connections, just come meet people, and what opportunities may arise from the people that you meet.”