Perez family turns grief into call for unity

“The smallest nation, but the biggest family.” Given the unimaginable pain that the family has endured since 7 October, it’s hard to imagine a more moving statement than this, made by Rabbi Doron Perez when his beloved son, Daniel, was finally laid to rest last week. 

It epitomised how the members of the Perez family have from the very outset responded to the tragedy that befell them, and so many other fellow Israelis, on that never-to-be-forgotten day. Not with despair, not with bitterness, not with anger, but with a rousing call for unity among the Jewish people, everywhere. 

I couldn’t attend the funeral personally since it took place on the second day of Shemini Atzeret-Simchat Torah, still yom tov in the diaspora. I arrived the following day to be with the family during the shiva week. It also marked the conclusion to what has been one of the predominant concerns of my own life over the past two years. 

The story of how Captain Daniel Perez was first reported missing after 163 agonising days, his death in combat was finally confirmed; and how, after a further 17 months of the deepest stress and anxiety, his remains were finally returned to Israel for burial, is one that has resonated particularly strongly, particularly in his native South Africa. 

As a community leader, one who also has a close connection to the Perez family, I have been among those who have devoted countless hours behind the scenes and followed up every possible avenue in the effort to bring Daniel home. For me, together with his family, friends, and comrades, his laying to rest on Mount Herzl alongside the many other heroic soldiers who sacrificed their lives over the decades in defence of the Jewish people also marked a much longed-for closure. 

As further information trickled in, we learned more about the heroism of Daniel and his tank crew in their final, desperate struggle, how in holding the terrorist onslaught at bay for so long they saved the lives of countless others. We also learned the extraordinary story of how Daniel’s elder brother, originally stationed far from that conflict zone, arrived to fight and finally win the battle where his brother had lost his life. And we learned how, despite the tragic circumstances and having himself been wounded, he went ahead with his planned wedding just 10 days later. That life-affirming decision was emblematic of how not just the Perez family but the people of Israel as a whole have responded to this latest attempt to annihilate them. 

The fate of the four-man tank crew commanded by Daniel was in many ways a microcosm of how 7 October played out that day and the impact it had on the Israeli people in the weeks and months that followed. What happened to each of the four young men is mirrored by what variously befell more than 1 000 other Jewish Israelis, whether soldiers or civilians, along with a sizeable number of innocent people who weren’t Jewish or even Israeli citizens. Matan Angrest was taken alive to Gaza along with the bodies of Daniel and Staff Sergeant Itay Chen. Sergeant Tomer Leibovitz died in the tank; he was the first to receive a proper burial. Two years later to the day, Angrest was released, having somehow survived the brutality of captivity at the hands of Hamas. The body of his commanding officer who fought and died beside him was likewise repatriated, but that of Chen remains in Gaza. No effort must be spared to ensure that he, too, is returned home. In Rabbi Perez’s own words, “No element of relief can be complete until every single one comes home for burial in Israel.” 

Last month, Rabbi Perez took a Jewish leadership delegation from South Africa on a visit to the site where his two sons fought and where the younger had sacrificed his life. One can imagine how painful and difficult it must have been for him, yet he did it so that the leaders of our community could bear witness to what happened that day and remember, again in his own words, how his son “gave his life doing everything he could to save those most dear to him”. 

We will always remember Daniel Perez and those like him with gratitude and pride, even as we mourn their irreplaceable loss. Whether in captivity or in death, they brought us all together, as one great family, even as our enemies did everything in their power to sunder those bonds. And as a South African Jew, it makes me deeply proud how Rabbi Doron and Shelly Perez and all their children, a family that hails from our community, has chosen to approach the great tragedy they have experienced as a way of uniting the Jewish people. For those who fell on 7 October and in the many months of harrowing conflict that followed, there can surely be no greater, nor more meaningful tribute. 

• Zev Krengel is national president of the South African Jewish Board of Deputies.