Rabbi Yossy Goldman, Sydenham Shul
This week, the Jewish People are preparing for the conquest of Canaan. In anticipation of entering the Promised Land, the tribes of Reuben and Gad make a special request of Moses.
They had abundant herds of livestock and the land east of the Jordan River was especially fertile and suitable for grazing. They asked Moses if they could inherit this land rather than the land west of the Jordan. In making this request they expressed themselves thus: “Pens for the flock shall we build here for our livestock and cities for our small children.”
Immediately, Moses chastises them and corrects their mistake. “Build for yourselves cities for your small children and pens for your flock.” Moses turns around their sequence, putting the children ahead of the animals.
Rashi observes that those tribes were more concerned about their money, i.e. livestock, than they were about their sons and daughters. Moshe needed to give them a lesson in values and priorities. Put family first. Possessions come later.
The veteran American spiritual leader, Rabbi David Hollander is renowned for always finding an appropriate anecdote to fit the message. Concerning this parsha, he once told me the story of a fellow who somehow managed to get himself locked in inside a big department store after they closed up for the day.
To compound the problem, it was over a holiday weekend. Cell phones had not yet been invented. When all his attempts to get out proved futile, he decided to give vent to his frustrations by taking revenge on the store management. He spent the time of his incarceration swapping price tags on the merchandise. It was long before bar codes. The result? A mink coat was now priced at $29,99, a necktie at $999,00. Furniture was going for the price of peanuts, the latest hi-fi for a song, and a set of underwear was absolutely unaffordable! Imagine the chaos when the store reopened.
And the question is: Are our own price tags correctly marked? Do we value the things in our own lives correctly? Are our priorities in order? Or do we too put the cattle and the sheep – the car and the office – ahead of our children?
How many workaholic husbands have told their wives: “Honey, I’m doing it all for you and the kids?” But the businesses we are busy building for them actually take us away from them in the most important and formative years of their lives.
Rightly has it been said: “The best thing you can spend on your kids is not money but time.”
I’ve seen many people become “successes” over the years. They achieve professional success, career success, business success growing their fame and fortunes. Too many in the process have become family failures.
At the end of the day, our deepest satisfaction in life comes not from our professional achievements but from our family – the growth, stability and togetherness that we have nurtured over the years – what our Jewish parents and grandparents simply called nachas.
“Jewish wealth is not measured in property portfolios or stocks and bonds” (to paraphrase the Previous Rebbe). True Jewish wealth is being blessed with children who walk in the ways of G-d. For that, we need to be there for them and with them.
